On the Waterfront
by SummerLove16
Summary: Bella and Edward accept jobs as lifeguards at the local beach, but Edward finds that a certain blonde is distracting him from his duties.  Slash, JxE .
1. Chapter 1

I ran one hand through my hair, only succeeding in tangling it further. Bella snickered from the driver's seat as we pulled into the parking lot, her dark hair hanging in glossy curls down her back,

"Nervous, Eddie? You're giving yourself sex hair. Just think of all the cute guys we'll get to scope out this summer!"

I silently cursed my best friend for knowing me better than I knew myself, but put my hands down in my lap. Cute guys indeed. I had known I was gay since I had turned fourteen and realized that my crush on my soccer coach wasn't something the other boys felt. Bella knew, but then again, she had known for longer than I had, or so she said. No one else in my life knew, and that was exactly the way I wanted to keep it. Forks, Washington wasn't exactly the easiest place in the world to come out of the closet. It was the quintessential small town, with a gossip mill that could destroy a reputation based on rumours alone. I shook my head to clear it, smiling wanly at the thought of the boys on the beach this summer. The sun was blazing above us, the sky a piercing blue that signified summer had truly arrived. The beach would be busy today.

"I guess so. It's a lot different than the pool, Bells."

She shrugged, pulling her hair up into a ponytail as she kicked the door of her ancient red pickup truck closed, stuffing half a banana into her mouth. She winked at me as her cheeks bulged out, grabbing her swimsuit, flip flops and fanny pack out of the back.

"Yeah. But exciting. And we'll both be sporting wicked tans. Catch!"

Bella grinned at me, tossing me my bottle of sunblock, her dark eyes sparkling with mischief. Bella had always taken the sun better than I had. Even when we were kids, growing up on the lake together, she had been a whip thin, browned creature, while I had burned, even in the fading evening sunlight. Last summer, our first summer back from college, we had carpooled and worked together at our local pool. Memories of chlorine clinging to my skin and tiny children clinging to me during lessons were more than enough to convince me that the beach option was the better call this summer. Bella had been more than excited when we were both offered jobs. Plus, it gave us a chance to spend some time together—schools on separate coasts had seemed like an okay idea, better for our respective degrees, but man did I miss my best friend for those eight months of the year. That was part of the reason we had decided to move in together this summer, in a tiny, dingy, overpriced apartment. Regardless, it was bliss.

The stone path leading down to the beach was riddled with weeds and tourists with children. School wouldn't let out for another three weeks, but apparently, Forks, Washington was the place to be this summer. Or at least our beach was. The sun bounced off the water, glittering turquoise against the sand. Tots toddled in the shallow surf, parents watching from the shade of beach umbrellas. In the center of the beach, the guard stand towered, brilliant white against the blue of the sky. Bella skipped ahead and up the slated ramp into the guard office. I followed more slowly behind, somewhat apprehensive. Certified lifeguard or not, being on the beach would take some getting used to.

The guard office looked much like any other guard office. A spinal board, oxygen tank and first aid kit lined one wall. On the other, a cot rested against the wall, next to a mini-fridge. A desk, with a tiny girl wearing a sleeveless shirt emblazoned with LIFEGUARD seated on it, swinging her legs, sat beside the doorway, bathed in sunlight. She was smiling and chatting eagerly with Bella,

"It takes some getting used to. Obviously. But it's a fantastic place to work. You can't beat the surfers. Or the beach volleyball team that practices here on Saturdays. Gorgeous. Oh! You must be Edward. I'm Alice."

She turned, extending one hand towards me. I shook it, watching her tiny hand disappear within my palm.

"So, my other guard, Emmett, is patrolling right now. You guys will meet him later, he's a big sweetheart. Em and I usually guard together, and the other full time guards are Jacob, Jasper and Rosalie. I think Jasper's coming in later, and we'll have to see how the guard teams shake down over the summer. One guard remains in here, but we keep connected with radios. "

She gestured to the walkie-talkie on her hip.

"The emergency boat is out front, but for the most part, we just use an aid and swim out. It's faster. Spine board is there, O2, first aid kit...the buoyant aids are hanging out front, and we take one when we're patrolling. Just like at the pool, most of what we do involves swimmers who have simply gone out too far, and wind up over their heads, unable to get back, becoming drowning non-swimmers. Unlike the pool, though, we have to be extremely vigilant in preventing DNSs, by watching parents and ensuring children who are in the water know how to swim."

I guess some of my apprehension must have shown on my face, because Alice paused, grinning at me,

"Don't look so worried, Eddie. I'm just giving you the run down. You know how it is—things rarely happen. Serious incidents hardly ever. I've only ever heard of one spinal injury here, a surfer who went out to far and ran the rocks."

She paused briefly, maybe to take a breath. Alice was vibrant and outgoing, and obviously excited about the summer ahead. She had been chattering a mile a minute since we'd arrived, pointing things out in the guard office. Bella took advantage of the momentary silence to question Alice.

"So, Allie—can I call you that?"

Alice grinned and nodded, I could tell that they would be fast friends,

"This might be a really stupid question, but...what about sharks?"

Alice laughed, a high, tinkling sound. Bella and I had argued extensively on this very point all the way to the beach. Unfortunately, I had been unable to convince her that there are no sharks in Forks.

"That's always the first questions of new guards on the beach! It was mine too, don't worry. No. There are no sharks here, mud sharks and dogfish, but not like Jaws. But if you ever needed to clear the water for another reason—thunderstorm, high winds, whatever—there's an airhorn on each guard chair, plus one outside, and another one in this drawer. If we need to clear the beach—which is so unlikely, but whatever—if there's a tsunami, or excessively high surf, or...I don't know, something realllllly bad happens, then we press this button, and the alarm will sound beach-wide. It's super loud, we only use it during training drills. It also calls Emergency Services."

Alice turned, grabbing two more shirts with LIFEGUARD adorning them, and tossed them at Bella and me. The shirts were bright white, with a red cross on the front left hand side. Unlike the shirt Alice wore, though, ours had sleeves. Bella looked from the tee-shirt to Alice, a horrified look on her face, as she no doubt considered the tan lines she'd have. Alice giggled,

"Don't worry. You can cut the sleeves off. We all do. Any other—"

She was cut off by her walkie talkie.

_ Hey Allie, I got a nosebleed out here. Can you take it, or cover me?_

Alice snatched up a handful of gauze and a pair of gloves, pressing the button to answer as she dashed out the door.

"You betcha, Em. Be right there."

She was running down the beach at full speed before Bella and I caught up with her,

"That's the other thing about this job,"

Alice called over her shoulder as she ran,

"You gotta move fast."

She reached the guard chair, where a little girl was sitting, wrapped in a towel as blood dripped through her hands. Alice knelt down, pressing gauze into the little girl's hand, pulling her gloves on as she assessed the situation.

"Hi sweetheart. My name's Alice. I'm a lifeguard here, and I'm going to help you, okay? What's your name? Can you tell me what happened?"

"You got it, Allie?"

Bella and I both looked up, and came face to face with the biggest guy I'd ever seen. He must have stood at least 6'8", and was all muscle. His hair was cropped short and blonde, and he had warm brown eyes. I assumed he was Emmett, Alice's guard partner.

"Yeah, I got it. Are her parents around?"

Just then, a chunky woman in a red bathing suit trundled over,

"Oh, Jane! I'm so sorry to be a bother, her brother hit her in the face with the football. I didn't expect her to bleed like this, though."

Alice smiled patiently,

"No problem, ma'am. Those hits to the face bleed a lot, but they're usually not serious. I'm just going to take her up to the guard room to stop the bleeding and get your information."

Alice walked away, with her arm around the little girls shoulder. The mother trotted along behind them, gesturing exuberantly with her chubby hands. Emmett turned his attention back to the beach, surveying it briefly before turning to look at Bella and me.

"Hey, you guys must be the new guards. I'm Emmett. Nice to meet you."

He extended one massive hand, turning his attention back to the waterfront as he spoke. Bella and I both shook his hand, turning to survey the beach with him, as had become habit after guarding for three consecutive summers. Emmett grinned, unhooking his walkie talkie from his shorts. He passed it to me,

"Alright, new guy. Let's see what you can do. This summer is gonna be a blast. Trust me."

I took the radio, smiling slowly. Emmett's enthusiasm and mischievous spirit was totally infectious, and I felt less anxious talking to him then I had all day. He smiled at Bella,

"Alright. Let's leave Eddie here, and set you up in the other guard chair. Just radio if you need anything, okay man? Jasper's coming on at six, so he'll bump you off."

I nodded, already scanning the beach for the hazards I would be watching for the next months. The sun was already beginning to sink lower in the sky, painting it in shades of gold and purple over the ocean. The beach was far less busy than it had been when Bella and I arrived this afternoon. A couple kids splashed around in the water, and some teens were sunbathing in the waning light, but it was nothing like the plethora of families that had been here earlier. I thanked my lucky stars that Alice and Emmett were introducing us to this slowly. I appreciated it.

Bella had been right about the boys. The surfers who had been kicking around earlier were hot, with their beach tangled hair and tanned bodies. Too bad we lived in Forks, and I couldn't ask one of them out. That was the only downside to this summer. September meant a return to college, where being gay was totally accepted. And there were gay bars.

As I was contemplating school, my attention focused on the water, the most gorgeous blonde I had ever seen wandered onto the beach. His hair was blonde, curling gently at his cheekbones, and his body was...perfect. From what I could see, anyways. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just low slung shorts that emphasised his defined abs and sunglasses. Good lord. I was immediately distracted from what I was supposed to be doing, my attention focused solely on him. I had always been a sucker for blondes, but this one was something special. He caught me staring, and smirked up at me. I felt heat rise in my cheeks from his knowing look, and immediately turned my attention back to the water, watching a toddler in a pink bikini splash in the surf. God, he must think I'm such a freak. But what if he doesn't? The voice in my head questioned. Maybe he was watching you, too. Doubtful, but I chanced another look in the direction the blonde had been.

As I looked back in his direction, I came face to face with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. Crystalline blue, with flecks of navy, so deep I felt like I was drowning immediately. The silence as we locked eyes, this gorgeous blonde and I, seemed to stretch forever, although I'm sure it only lasted a few seconds. Bathed in the fading sun, he looked like a god, fallen to earth. The screams and giggles of a little girl broke the moment, as we both turned to look. He grinned as my attention turned back to him,

"Hi, I'm Jasper."

_Hii, Ah'm Jahsper. _Holy hell. His accent, a lilting Texan drawl, made me straighten and cross my legs uncomfortably to hide the hard-on I was rapidly sporting. He extended one hand, and I shook it. A jolt of electricity passed between us, something unreadable flitting across his face as he pulled away.

"Edward. Nice to meet you."

I didn't stutter, and my voice didn't break—a miracle unto itself—but my words came out deeper, raspy and somewhat slurred. Jasper looked at me questioningly, but didn't voice a question. Thank god. Apparently, the gorgeous blonde was my new co-worker. The one boy who was totally unattainable—I couldn't even check him out on the beach. And the other boys on the beach had nothing on him. I was so completely and utterly fucked. Jasper cleared his throat,

"I'm here to bump you off, I guess. How was the first shift on the waterfront?"

Jasper began climbing up the ladder to the top of the chair just as I shifted to get down, bringing us chest to chest, and far too close together. I bit my lip, desperate to keep my breathing steady as his warm skin pressed against mine through my teeshirt. The same electricity that had passed between us when we shook hands hung in the air, the moment seeming the last for hours. As I struggled not to lean into him, the smell of beach and boy and warmth so attractive, Jasper jumped back like he'd been burned. Instantly brought crashing back to earth, I tried to string together a coherent sentence. What was the question again?

"Good."

Jasper smiled guardedly, his attention fully on me.

"Well, I'm glad. You have a good night, Edward."

My name fell like honey off his tongue, and I almost groaned out loud. There must be some divine plan to torture me this summer, and to ensure I went back to the pool next year. As I began walking away, away from the piercing stare of his eyes, I managed to pull myself together long enough to wish him well.

"You too, Jasper."

I grinned a megawhatt smile over my shoulder at him. The same unreadable look he'd gotten when we shook hands flittered over his face, before he grinned back at me, waving me off the beach.

Bella was leaning against the car, bathed in the red-gold glow of the sunset, when I got back to the parking lot. She grinned at me, her eyes lit up.

"That was fantastic! I love the waterfront. And Emmett and Alice are so sweet!"

"Yeah, it's going to be a good summer."

I smiled wanly. Bella picked up on my turmoil immediately,

"You okay?"

I shrugged. Meeting Jasper had hit me harder than I thought. His strange behaviour bothered me far more than it should. The strange, unreadable look that had passed through his eyes when we touched intrigued me, but there was something dark hidden there that scared me.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's...Jasper."

"You always were a sucker for blondes...but is he even gay?"

Bella watched me with concerned eyes, biting on her lower lip as we pulled onto the freeway. She knew exactly what was bothering me, and cut straight to the heart of the issue.

"I don't know. I...just need some time to get used to him, I guess."

"You'd better get used to him fast, love. You're working together tomorrow."

I was suddenly short of breath. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Working with Jasper should be no big deal. I would treat him just like any other co-worker, and squash whatever I was feeling for him down before it became a crush. Before I fell head over heels for someone I couldn't have. I rested my forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the world blur by as Bella drove us home in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked slowly towards the guard station. I was dragging my feet through the sand, admiring the sunrise, and delaying going inside. I no longer felt apprehensive about guarding the beach. Rather, I felt apprehensive and downright nervous about working with Jasper. Jasper. His piercing blue eyes had haunted me all night, and I had tossed and turned, caught in vivid, evocative dreams. I had woken up tangled in my sheets, my sex hair more apparent than usual. Unfortunately, as usual, nothing I had done had tamed it, and I still looked freshly fucked as I wandered up the ramp and into the guard office, the lack of breakfast churning in my stomach. The guard office was dark and the lights were off, but the sunrise was seeping in through the blinds.

"Mornin' Sunshine. How's it goin?"

Jasper's lilting drawl caught me off guard from behind. I whirled, less than gracefully, to face him.

I had forgotten how beautiful he was.

In the time I had gone home and slept, I had forgotten, and now, bathed in the early morning light, his face hooded by shadows, a guitar balanced on his lap, Jasper quite literally took my breath away. I felt my knees weaken as we locked eyes. He grinned at me, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I'm good. How was your night?"

He considered my question, his eyes darkening. When he spoke, his voice was deeper and slightly raspy.

"Long."

The single word held more possible implications than I wanted to consider. Heat thrummed through me at the thought of his night being spent like mine, but it was a thought I couldn't dwell on. Jasper placed the guitar in its case, leaning it up against the wall in the corner. He grabbed an apple off the desk, polishing it on his shirt before taking a bite.

"Are you good in here if I take the first shift on the water?"

I nodded slowly, distracted by the way his tongue swept his lower lip as he swallowed the bite of apple. I couldn't help the picture of Jasper, his full lips kiss swollen, his eyes dark and lust blown, that flashed through my head, completely of its own accord. Luckily, he had already turned to grab his fanny pack, grabbing an extra pair of gloves to join the pocket mask and set of airways inside the red pouch. He reached up to grab a walkie talkie, revealing a tempting slice of defined hip bone and muscle. Hanging one on the waistband of his shorts, Jasper tossed the other radio at me. I fumbled it, but caught it at the last second, clipping it awkwardly to my shorts.

"We usually don't get people in the water for a while, but..."

Jasper trailed off, staring into space. I wondered what he meant , analyzed his words in my head. Did he not want to spend time with me? Why wouldn't he want to spend time with me? Did he not like me? God, two minutes alone with Jasper, and I was turning into a basket case. I exhaled slowly,

"Right. Okay..."

I couldn't keep the hurt from wavering under my words. Jasper flushed, but turned and walked out and onto the beach. The tension in the guard room was thick and I could feel my chest constrict with loss as he walked out the door. He was only feet away on the beach, and yet my body ached for him. I had to remind myself that he wasn't mine to miss.

The day passed slowly. The public wandered in to the guard office from time to time, asking questions about the changerooms, the beach, the water, and asking for sunscreen. Luckily, we kept several bottles stocked, and I had applied sunscreen to dozens of children already. Other than that, there was very little for me to do. I leaned against the railing outside, letting the sun warm my skin. I could see Jasper, his eyes focused on the water. My stomach flipped. He was so incredibly beautiful. And I knew that there was more behind those baby blues than met the eye. I wanted to be more than friends, but at this point, I would happily take Jasper's friendship. I just wanted to see him smile. The sun was high in the sky, and children were swimming and splashing in the water.

"Excuse me."

The voice of a woman startled me, tearing my attention away from Jasper and the waterfront. I turned to face the woman, who stood at least six feet, and had a tan that indicated that she had spent the majority of winter vacationing somewhere hot. Her platinum hair was piled on her head, and her eyes were flashing. I smiled brightly, hoping that I could placate her.

"Hi. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to make a complaint. About that young man over there."

She gestured in Jasper's direction. I glanced over at Jasper, who was still watching the water, twirling his whistle between his fingers.

"Um, okay. Would you like to tell me what this is regarding?"

I wondered what Jasper had done to make this woman so angry. He didn't seem like the type to be outright rude to people, but then again, I wasn't sure I knew him well enough to know that for a fact. The woman huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well. I went over there to ask him where the changerooms are. And then I wanted to ask him about restaurants to take my family to for lunch. And that young man didn't even look at me while we were speaking! It's common courtesy to look at someone when you're speaking to them. How rude."

I sighed. Of course Jasper hadn't been looking at her. He hadn't looked at her because he was watching the water, and, as every other decent lifeguard would have done, had simply talked to her as he guarded. But could I explain that to this woman without sending her into more of a snit than she was already in? I took a deep breath,

"Ma'am, he wasn't trying to be rude to you. He can't look at you while he's talking, because he can't take his attention off the water."

"I am sure that no one would drown in the time it took him to look at me while he was telling me about the restaurants in this miserable town. Good grief, my husband said this hell hole would be a nice place for a vacation. All I see is a public beach with lifeguards that are downright rude!"

I sighed. Apparently, my attempt at PR skills had only landed Jasper and I in hotter water with this woman. I could see Jasper out of the corner of my eye, watching me. Probably to see if I needed backup, I admonished myself, as I felt a rush of warmth spread through my stomach.

"Ma'am, you'd be surprised at how fast a child can drown. It takes less than thirty seconds, and if Jasper missed something on the water...it's not like the pool. We can't see what's on the bottom. I'm sorry you're not enjoying Forks. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes! You can tell your co-worker he owes me an apology, goddamn it! And have him look at me while he apologizes, or I will call your supervisor!"

The woman was screaming at me now, her cheeks flushed with effort as she balled her fists, glaring at me. I was reluctant to take her to Jasper. Firstly, because I was unsure of how he would handle the situation, but also because I was somewhat ashamed of my inability to resolve the situation.

"I...ma'am, I need you to calm down...Jasper is an excellent lifeguard. And he didn't do anything wrong!"

Suddenly, for some unknown reason, I was defending Jasper. Of course, this only served to upset the woman further. Without waiting for me to say another word, she spun on her heel and marched towards Jasper, her hands on her hips. I trailed behind, helpless to whatever her wrath would bring. Jasper glanced over, a puzzled look crossing his features as he saw us coming.

"I'm sorry,"

I mouthed to him, as the woman began gesturing, her hands flailing around over her head as she approached him.

"Get down here, young man! You owe me an apology!"

Jasper rubbed one hand over the back of his neck, tangling his fingers in his hair as he clamoured down from the chair. We exchanged looks, his blue eyes searching my green for some kind of information. I took his place, but I had a hard time keeping my attention focused on the small children paddling in the water. I felt terrible. As if Jasper needed another reason not to talk to me. God.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... .. ... ... ... ..

It was almost half an hour later when Jasper finally came back. My attention was half on the water, half distractedly thinking about Jasper and the awful woman I had unleashed on him. Jasper pulled himself up on the guard chair, sitting on the ledge next to my feet, his hair catching the sunlight.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. I tried to tell her you weren't being rude, but she just..."

Jasper shook his head,

"She's havin' a hard time. I guess her husband brought her and the kids here on vacation while he works. Apparently, her husband's screwin' the secretary, and she's tryin' to work out how to break the divorce to her kids. I just told her I was sorry."

"She told you all that?"

I was incredulous. Not only that a perfect stranger would tell Jasper all that, but that he would take the time to listen to her. He had not only taken the time to listen to her, but had calmed her. I could feel the flash of heat pass through me at his obvious care for a woman he barely knew. His sympathy warmed me, and I could feel my skin flush beneath the heat of his stare.

"Sure. I just asked her what was botherin' her so much. And she told me."

He winked at me,

"I think it's my southern charm."

He laughed, but I choked on my laughter as his accent, combined with his words and the compassion of his actions, brought my hard on back in full force. His smile made me feel like liquid inside, and there was no denying the heat that flowed through my veins. I realized that this was the first real conversation Jasper and I had had since we'd met yesterday.

"Jasper, I..."

"Edward, I..."

We both stopped short, and the tension was momentarily eased by laughter. I remained silent, waiting for Jasper to speak again.

"Edward, Emmett is havin' his beginning of summer pool party this weekend. It's kind of a tradition, I guess. And his house is gorgeous. Anyways, Alice and Jacob and Rosalie and I are all goin'. You and Bella should come along too. It's goin' to be a blast."

"We'd love to. I mean, I'd love—like to. I'll have to ask Bella."

God, could I be any less articulate? I cringed, but Jasper just grinned.

"Awesome. I'm looking forward to it."

Jasper hopped down into the sand, his eyes light as he looked up at me.

"Alright. I'm gonna get back in there, but the next shift is comin' on in less than an hour, so you shouldn't be out here for too long. It's been busy this mornin', I think we'll probably end up with teams of three or maybe even four guards next week."

I nodded. It was fairly busy, the end of the school year was close, and families were beginning to arrive on the beach for their summer vacation. Jasper walked away across the beach. I couldn't help watching him as he walked away, his sleeveless shirt and swim shorts leaving little of his body to the imagination. God, if he only knew how he was torturing me...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Hey hotstuff."

Bella grinned at me as she climbed up the ladder and settled next to me on the guard chair, her frame just petite enough that we weren't being squashed by the wooden frame. I smiled, unhooking my radio from my shorts and handing it to her.

"Hey Bells. How's it going?"

"Excellent! Did Jasper tell you about the pool party this weekend? I'm so excited!"

I nodded,

"Yeah, he did mention it. Should be fun."

Bella glanced over at me, assessing the mood behind my words. She caught the look in my eyes at the mention of Jasper's name.

"Oh Edward...you've got it bad for him, don't you?"

I didn't have to answer. Bella just knew. She sighed, clipping the radio I had handed her to the collar of her shirt.

"Get outta here, kid. We'll talk tonight after I get off, yes?"

I nodded, climbing out of the guard chair and down onto the beach, the sand hot and grainy beneath my bare feet. I wasn't sure if this was something I could put words to just yet. And even if I could, I wasn't sure it was something I wanted to discuss.

"Later Bells. Have a good shift."

She nodded, her attention already focused on the water. I ran my hands through my hair, wandering slowly back towards the guard office to collect my things.

I arrived at the guard station at the same time as a supermodel-beautiful girl. She must have stood six feet at least, her long, naturally blonde hair hanging straight and long down her back. She smiled at me, following me up the ramp. Emmett sat on the cot, obviously guarding with Bella this afternoon. He was wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that he was inside, that were too big for his face, and looked like perhaps he had had a little too much fun last night. Jasper leaned against the desk, talking to Emmett, laughing about some incident that had happened on the beach a few weeks back. I was beginning to wonder what the mystery girl was doing, as she followed me inside, but Jasper turned, his eyes lighting up.

"Hey, gorgeous!"

He drawled, kissing her forehead and wrapping one arm around her shoulders. My stomach plummeted to the floor, my breath catching in my throat, as I observed Jasper's obvious adoration for the supermodel. Of course, if I was straight, she'd probably be the one I'd want too. Apparently I wasn't the only sucker for blondes. She grinned at him, rumpling his perfect curls with one hand. Jasper turned his grin on me, his smile that much more alight now that she was here.

"Edward, this is Rosalie."

I swallowed, trying to quell the nauseous feeling in my stomach, extending my hand. Rosalie shook it, her fingers ice cold despite the heat outside.

"Nice to meet you Edward."

I didn't answer. I had nothing to say. Falling for Jasper had to be the single stupidest thing I had ever done. Unable to speak, unable to voice words, I sat down instead at the desk, and started wading through the paperwork that came with this job. Jasper looked momentarily confused at my behaviour, but quickly turned his attention back to Rosalie.

"Alright. I'm goin' to load my stuff into the car."

"Sounds good. I'll be there in just a minute."

Emmett sat up, rolling off the bed. I assumed he was going out to bump Bella off, which was good, since my heart ached. As he walked out the door, I could feel my eyes gloss with tears. Stupid, betraying tears, brought on by nothing but infatuation. Some little voice in the back of my head told me to thank goodness Jasper and I hadn't been together. I could only imagine the unfathomable pain that would come if Jasper and I had broken up...but he had never been mine. Had never shown any interest in me at all. I tried to remember that. Tried to keep the feelings and the ache in my chest that felt as though my heart had been ripped out at bay. But I couldn't help the single tear that slid down my cheek as Rosalie followed Emmett out the door, trailing after Jasper to the parking lot. Thank god. I didn't mean to hate her, but I couldn't bear the thought of her with Jasper. And they shared a car...his live-in, car-sharing, supermodel girlfriend. How could I not hate her? Perhaps Bella could say the right things, and soothe the ache in my chest where it felt like my heart had shattered. It felt like my heart had shattered, and Jasper hadn't even touched me. Hadn't indicated any interest in me at all. Had the entire thing just been the spinnings of my imagination? I shoved what was left of the paperwork into my backpack, searching for my Ipod as I walked out the door.

"...love you too."

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight."

I paused, glancing over the banister of the ramp. In the sand below, Emmett and Rosalie traded a swift, illicit kiss that obviously labelled them as more than just friends. Maybe more than just fuck-buddies too. But that didn't ease the burn of anger in my stomach for Jasper. How dare she, when she had Jasper, have Emmett too? And Emmett...he hadn't seemed like the type to steal someone else's girlfriend, but apparently I had him all wrong. Apparently, my people reading skills sucked. I shoved my ear buds into my ears. I had heard enough. I stomped down the ramp, being sure to create as much noise as I could to interrupt their romantic meeting. I felt the heat of anger, along with the cool sting of jealousy slice through my veins as I walked through the parking lot, completely ignoring Jasper's bewildered expression and half wave as I walked by him. He didn't even know that his girlfriend was sleeping with his friend. Should I tell him? Could I tell him? And more importantly, would he believe me if I did?


	3. Chapter 3

The week passed incredibly slowly. Bella had said all the right things, had tried to soothe the sting in my aching heart, but it hadn't helped. I hadn't told her about the scene I had witnessed between Rosalie and Emmett, but guilt twisted in my stomach every time I saw Jasper. Jasper and I had gone back to silence, tension thick whenever we were alone together. His easy southern drawl would turn my bones to liquid as he spoke, and I would revel in the feeling for the fleeting seconds before my head caught up to my traitorous heart, and I remembered Rosalie, guilt thick in my stomach, making me nauseous, my liquid bones suddenly turning to leaden concrete. Luckily, we hadn't been alone often. Jasper was right, we had gone to three or four guards per shift as the beginning of summer rush set in. As Friday morning dawned, the day of Emmett's pool party, Alice, Bella and I arrived at the beach for the morning shift. Jasper was nowhere to be seen, which was possibly a good thing. Seeing him with that damn guitar balanced in his lap every day only served to conjure fantasies that made me toss and turn at night.

"Hey, y'all. Ready for another excitin' day?"

Jasper's drawl caught me offguard from behind, as it so often did. He wandered in the front door, shirtless, sweat dripping down his abs, his curls tangled, looking flushed and oh-so-kissable. I sat down, feeling my shorts tighten as they so often did when Jasper was around. Bella grinned at him,

"Morning, Jasper. Running?"

Bella had taken it upon herself to ease the tension between Jasper and I. Her perky, bubbly questions had begun to annoy me. I hoped Jasper didn't feel the same. He nodded, gulping water from a bottle that had been chilling in the fridge. I fought not to groan at the bob of his adam's apple as he swallowed. It made me picture him swallowing...other things.

"Yeah. It's a good time of day for it. Plus, the water's so calm today."

I nodded halfheartedly, glancing over at Alice, who had been strangely silent throughout the morning. She smiled wanly, but didn't contribute to the conversation, instead looking over to Bella. Jasper grabbed his guard shirt and a radio, heading out onto the beach as Bella and Alice exchanged looks, silent information passing between them.

Most mornings, Jasper and I were the only ones in the guard office, while Bella and Alice took the first shift on the water. As Jasper walked out the door this morning, though, Alice was complaining of a headache. I vaguely wondered if it was just the amount of time Jasper had known her, or if it was his strange ability to read emotions rising to the surface again, like it had with the tyrant woman. Alice's tiny fingers played anxiously with her spiked, purple and black streaked hair, and she looked pale despite the sun.

"You doing okay, Allie?"

Bella asked, passing her a glass of water as she stared out at the waterfront. We were at one guard for the time being, Jasper was sitting alone on the waterfront—only a few small children splashed around in the water, their parents hovering nearby. Alice sipped the water, her dark eyes cloudy,

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just...I feel stressed. Like it's just...going to be a really long day, you know?"

"Mmm, Allie, I'm sure it'll be okay."

Alice nodded,

"I know. Nothing serious. And...the party. It's just a long day."

There was more than what Alice was saying, but she looked terrible. Bella and I exchanged looks, but didn't press her. Instead, I hooked a radio to my shorts,

"Maybe I'll go join Jas, then. Hope you feel better, hey?"

Alice nodded,

"I'll be fine. I get headaches like this once in a while."

Alice and Bella had become friends so fast it made my head spin. Alice, the tiny, pixie-like, outgoing girl we had met that first day hadn't changed at all. She had, however, revealed her eerily accurate predilection for predicting the future. I hadn't thought anything of it when she mentioned, offhand, that first day,

"Bella's going to love Jacob. They're going to be great together."

In fact, I had assumed that Alice meant they would make a good guard team. Instead, Bella had called me after their first shift together, gushing about Jacob. The connection had been instant, apparently. I'd never seen Bella more excited about a guy. I could only hope that I liked him as much as Bella. Jacob was the only member of the guarding staff I was yet to meet. Bella described him as tall, taller than me or Jasper, but shorter than Emmett, with silky dark hair that hung to his shoulders and tanned skin that absorbed the sunlight. Much like Jasper's golden curls. I sighed. I had to stop relating everything to Jasper. Jesus. One sided romance was so overrated.

I wandered slowly down the guard ramp, basking in the warmth of the sunshine and the heat already radiating off the toasted sand. I hadn't gotten sunburned yet this summer—thanks in large part to Bella, who had slathered me in sunscreen every morning before I left the apartment. As I walked, I stared at Jasper, drinking in the flex of his muscles, the sheen of sunscreen on his skin, the glitter of his curls under the afternoon sun.

As I was staring, lost in thought, Jasper blew his whistle, the shrill, sharp sound jolting across the beach. Adrenaline surged through my body, and I could feel my instinctual fight or flight instinct kick in. I had already started running as he leapt out of the chair, splashing into the water. Surveying the water, I could see what he was going for: A little girl, about 100 metres out, struggling to keep her head above water and going down fast.

I grabbed the O2 tank, first aid kit and AED, and ran towards the waters edge. I dropped the equipment and began to follow Jasper into the water, but then thought better of it, and yanked the walkie-talkie off my hip,

"Bells, we need backup."

There was some distant crackling of my radio as I pushed off the bottom and began to follow Jasper out. He was about half way to her, but she was still too far out to reach. The drop-off, I realized. The little girl came up choking, gasping for breath, and then went under, silently. Shit. Jasper swam harder, letting his buoyant aide float on the surface as he swam.

I cursed silently, knowing that he was going to have to dive for the little girl. I swam harder, knowing that Jasper would be exhausted when he brought her up. Finally, Jasper dove down under the water, searching for the little girl. I could distantly hear Alice calling for people to exit the water quickly and quietly, before I finally caught up with Jasper. He breached the surface, sucking in deep lungfulls of air, his eyes dark and blown with adrenaline.

"Edward, I can't—shit, I can't get her up."

We dove down together, the water cloudy and cold as we went down, hands searching for the warmth of skin.

There was nothing.

When we surfaced again, I could hear the mother on the beach, screaming hysterically. Jasper looked at me, his eyes dark and scared.

"We'll get her."

I murmured.

I wasn't sure if it was me, or Jasper I was trying to reassure.

We dove down again, lungs burning from physical exertion and lack of oxygen. My chest ached, my muscles screaming to turn back. I felt Jasper's hand fasten around my own, and I pushed the scream of my brain for oxygen back, knowing what he was going to do.

Jasper thrust himself downwards, jerking me towards the bottom, giving me an extra boost as I hurtled downwards into the darkness below us, my hands searching for warmth, searching for the little girl.

My fingers fastened around her arm, and I immediately began kicking towards the surface, pulling her up behind me. As we travelled upwards, I fixed my hand over her mouth and nose, tipping her head forward to prevent more water from entering her lungs. My body cried for air, the surface glimmering above us, and I could feel myself beginning to fade, my grip on the little girl loosening.

It was every lifeguard's worst nightmare.

Then Jasper's hands fastened around my arm, dragging me upwards.

I broke the surface, my breath coming in shallow pants, dizziness washing over me. Jasper shoved a buoyant aid into my arms, taking the little girl gently from me, swimming her back towards shore. I took several deep breaths, trying desperately to quell the waves of dizziness, before I began swimming for shore.

Jasper walking out of the water with the little girl in his arms was undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

He laid her down in the sand, immediately into prone position, and Alice began assessing her, Jasper standing breathless over them both. My feet touched the bottom as Alice began CPR, Jasper working quickly to attach the AED to her body.

I felt like crying.

She'd been down for too long. There was water in her lungs, she wasn't breathing, and her heart had stopped. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I walked out of the water.

I caught the mother in my arms as she rushed towards her daughter's unmoving body. She fought against me, tears streaming down her face.

"NO! NO, KATE!"

I held her against me, dimly aware that I was beginning to shake from adrenaline, and overexertion. Bella came out of the guard office, running down the beach towards us. She put one arm around the woman's shoulders, leading her out of my arms towards the guard office.

"EMS is on their way. They should be here in the next ten minutes."  
>She murmured, just as Jasper called for clear, charging the AED to shock the little girl. Alice either didn't hear him, or didn't respond, continuing to compress the little girl's chest,<p>

"Alice. I need you clear."

Jasper spoke softly to her, his accent far more pronounced under stress. I touched Alice gently on the shoulder, and she looked up at me, tears streaking her face. She immediately jumped back, and I took her place kneeling at the little girl's side as Jasper shocked her. I lined my hands up on her chest and resumed compressions, praying silently for her to wake up. Children bounce back better than adults, they have a far higher chance of survival in incidents like this, she would live, I reminded myself.

Jasper met my eyes for one brief second, and I could see the fear, the failure, written in his eyes. If this girl didn't make it...

The little girl began to cough, vomiting water up as Jasper and I moved silently, completely in tune, to roll her, exchanging looks of relief as the water flowed out of her mouth, her eyes fluttering open. Jasper placed the oxygen mask on her face,

"Don't worry darlin', you're gonna be just fine."  
>He murmured, brushing a soaked tendril of her hair off her face. I could feel the relief rush through my body, my muscles beginning to shake as the adrenaline left them.<p>

The paramedics arrived after what felt like an infinite amount of time, loading Kate onto a stretcher and carrying her off the beach. Her mother gripped Jasper's hand,

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Jasper smiled wanly,

"You're welcome, ma'am."

His hands were shaking as he pulled away from her.

Bella slipped her hand into mine, leading me off the beach. I was shaken, shaking and weak-kneed. Jasper followed behind us, one arm around Alice's tiny shoulders, her fingers fastened in the front of his still-wet shirt, his body almost entirely supporting her weight. The beach had cleared as the paramedics carried the little girl off the beach, and Bella hung the "NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY" sign on the side of the guard hut as we went inside.

Alice sat down on the cot, curling her body into Jasper's, Bella beside her, and me on the other end. Nobody said anything, and the silence was necessary. We all needed time to process and decompress.

When Rosalie entered the guard room, Jasper stood immediately, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck,

"You holdin' up okay, Jazzy?"

I couldn't help it, even in the face of such a tender moment I felt jealousy and anger flash through me.

Emmett followed about five minutes after Rosalie, and they prepared to take the afternoon shift on.

It was over.

We'd survived.

We walked to the parking lot together, silent, like warriors returning from battle.

As Alice veered off to her car, and Bella to unlock the truck, Jasper caught me by the arm. I felt the all-too-familiar tingle of heat thrum through me at his touch, an involuntary response.

"Edward. Thank you. I couldn't have...I couldn't have, without you."

Jasper's words were barely above a whisper, his voice rough. I nodded,

"Jasper, I..."

Jasper shook his head,

"Don't. I just...wanted you to know. I'll see you tonight, hey?"

The pool party. I had completely forgotten about it.

Jasper turned, getting into his car, but not before I caught a flash of something unreadable in his eyes. It was a look that would puzzle me for a long time.

...

Hey boys and girls,

Thank you so much for reading!

To those of you who are reviewing—I read, love, and appreciate each one! (Especially the ones en français! Merci beaucoup!).

To those who aren't, please do. Reviews mean so much to me! (and they make me update faster...incentive?).


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Lovelies,**

**I just wanted to say thank you for all the wonderful reviews and support!**

**Updates will probably happen around once a week (give or take) from this point forward. The first few chapters were pre-written. These ones are not.**

**Your speculation and ideas are wonderful!**

**Keep them coming.**

…

"You sure you're good to go out tonight, Edward?"

Bella looked at me in the mirror as she applied mascara to her already long dark eyelashes.

"Yeah, I'm good. You know we're going to a pool party, right? I sure hope that's waterproof."

I snickered, pulling a plaid button-up on over my black board shorts. Bella rolled her eyes,

"Of course it's waterproof, dumbass. I'm not going to run around looking like a fucking racoon at Emmett's pool party."

I laughed, remembering the fateful summer when we were thirteen, before Bella had discovered waterproof makeup. Bella examined me in the mirror, her gaze suddenly soft and concerned,

"What about Jasper?"

I shrugged,

"Doesn't matter. He's got Rosalie, right? I'm sure they're just all kinds of happy together."

Bella sighed, fluffing her hair,

"Okay. He seemed pretty shaken today too."

I nodded,

"It was a rough day for everyone."

In truth, I felt exhausted, drained by the afternoon's events, but Bella wanted to go out, and I did want to meet Jacob. Besides, I couldn't help but feel like perhaps a drink and some fun was exactly what I needed to loosen up. I couldn't help the clench in my teeth every time I thought about going back to the beach.

Bella snatched her keys off the counter,

"I'm DD, okay?"

I shook my head,

"No way, dude. It's my turn. You DDed last time."

Her eyes turned soft. I was starting to hate that look. I rolled my eyes, but I could see she'd already made up her mind.

"Honey, you had a hard day. I'll DD. You do your thing."

I shrugged, but let her have her way.

Bella sang along to the radio, LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem blasting at ear-shattering levels. Normally, we both loved this song. In fact, she and I could do the party rock shuffle—the whole routine, perfectly in time with the song. We'd both learned it over the year at school, and put it all together when we got back. Tonight, though, I couldn't seem to shake my blue mood. Sensing my mood, Bella turned down the radio.

"Come on, Eddie! Snap out of it!"

She grinned broadly at me, shaking me gently by the shoulder,

"Besides, I don't want Jakey to think my best friend is a total loser,"

I snickered,

"Jakey? Does he know you call him that?"

Bella flushed, and she bit her lip,

"Not exactly. Don't tell him! Edward, stop laughing!"

Which, of course, only made me laugh even harder. Jakey? Jesus. Poor guy. Bella slapped me on the arm,

"Shut up! You're such a dick."

I winked at her,

"Of course,sweetcheeks. That's why you love me."

She glared at me, but I could see she was fighting a smile. I leaned over and turned the volume on the radio back up.

"Party Rock is in the house tonight, Everybody just have a good time, and we gonna make you lose your mind, we just wanna see you...SHAKE THAT! EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLING!"

Bella and I grinned at each other, before beginning our dance as well as we could sitting in the car.

Emmett's house was MASSIVE. Without a doubt, it was the largest house I've ever seen, all plate glass windows and white siding and columns that looked like they belonged in Antebellum America. I whistled under my breath as Bella parked behind a fiery red Ferrari. These folks had some serious cash.

Cars lined the street and filled the driveway, and as we got out of the truck, I could hear the bass line of music drifting through the air, along with the mouthwatering smell of barbeque. Bella grinned at me, ruffling my hair affectionately,

"Excited now?"  
>I just nodded, still staring wide eyed at the house. Bella snickered,<p>

"Come on, loser. Close your mouth before you drool."

I rolled my eyes, but followed her up to the house. Emmett opened the door, still wearing his (slightly douchey) sunglasses and a mega-watt grin,

"BELLS! EDDIE! I'm so glad you guys could make it!"

It appeared Emmett only had two settings: Off, or super-speed. I snickered to myself as he pulled Bella into a bear hug, before shaking my hand and giving me a whack on the back. Ah, the man hug. It never gets old.

"Thanks, Em. You seen Jake?"

Emmett nodded,

"He's out back with Rose and Alice. And everybody else! What do you guys want on the barbeque? Hot dog, hamburger, chicken, or steak?"

He continued, leading us through the massive entrance hall, the hardwood living room with a TV almost as large as the wall of my bedroom, and the kitchen, where a professional looking bartender and several people (waiters? Servants? I couldn't be sure) puttered around, cutting veggies and filling bowls with chips and dips.

Seriously?

Emmett LIVED here?

And worked at the BEACH?

I shook my head, trying to make sense of it, as he led us out onto the wraparound porch, which was set up with several picnic tables covered in food. There were also strings of Christmas lights and tiki torches decorating the wooden frame.

Beyond the porch, the lawn sprawled, and to the right, the pool glittered invitingly. Lined with deck chairs and beautiful women, it was gorgeous. The hot tub was already occupied with the slimiest looking guy I'd ever seen, surrounded by several already drunk girls.

Alice and Rosalie stood by the barbeque, both sipping on fruity drinks, complete with straws, chunks of melon, those little paper umbrellas, and a maraschino cherries. Alice was wearing a tight, black and white dress and flip flops, Rosalie a short, white dress that showcased her long, slender legs. For Jasper, or Emmett? I wondered.

Emmett walked us over to them, and Alice held an apron out to him,

"Let's go, Great BBQ Master. I'm starving."

Rosalie rolled her eyes,

"Em makes us call him that every freakin' year."  
>Emmett grinned cheekily,<p>

"Uh, yeah, cause my barbeque skills can't be beat! My BBQ is friggin' amazing."

"Just cause you haven't killed anybody yet doesn't make it amazing, dude."  
>A need voice chimed in, and I whirled to look at the guy I could only imagine as Jacob. His build matched mine, his hair curling at his jaw, his eyes as dark as night. He was gorgeous, and if the way Bella's face lit up was any indication, my guess wasn't far off.<p>

"Jake! Edward, this is Jacob. Jacob, this is Edward, my roommate, best friend, and total loser extraordinaire."

"Nice to meet you, man."

Jacob extended one hand and I shook it,

"Yeah, you too. Bella's gushed about you pretty much constan—Ouch! What the fuck!"

Bella gave me her best innocent smile as she ground her heel down on my foot. Jacob snickered, wrapping one arm around Bella's shoulder,

"Whoah, girl. I was kinda interested in what Edward had to say."  
>Bella shook her head,<p>

"Let's go get a drink. You want anything?"

She asked, flicking her gaze at me.

"Sure. I'll take whatever's going. Thanks, Bells."

"No problem, gorgeous. Anybody else?"

As she and Jacob wandered away, I scanned the party, looking for Jasper.

"He's not here yet,"

Alice shrugged, causing my cheeks to flame. Was I really that obvious? Rosalie nodded,

"Which is weird, because he left at the same time I did, and Lord knows that boy drives like the devil is chasing him."

As if on cue, Jasper wandered down the steps and out onto the lawn to join us, a motorcycle helmet slung under one arm and a sheepish look on his face.

Jasper on a motorcycle?

God, the thought was so fucking sexy I had to concentrate hard to will my erection down. Jesus. This boy was going to be the death of me.

"Jazzy, baby, what the fuck happened to you? What do you want on the BBQ?"

Emmett demanded, grinning widely at Jasper and handing him a beer from the cooler. Jasper shrugged, pink tinting his cheeks, and I don't think I've ever been as turned on as I was right that second.

As Jasper turned to take the beer from Emmett, Rosalie zeroed in on a pink slip of paper hanging out of the back of his jeans pocket. She leaned in, snatching it before Jasper even registered what was happening.

"Jasper Hale! This had better not be what I think it is!"

Jasper ran one hand through his messy curls, rubbing the back of his neck,

"Yeah, I uh, got pulled over. That's why I'm so late. Sorry, Em."

_Yeah, Ah got pulled ovah. That's whay Ah'm so late. _Jesus, that fucking accent. I had to sit down to hide the rapidly growing bulge in my pants as Bella returned, handing me a rum and coke. That's my girl. Knows me so well, well enough to know that I just don't like beer.

Rosalie's eyes were flashing as she unfurled the ticket,

"Jesus, Jasper, how many does that make?"

"Isn't that seven?"  
>Emmett whooped, slapping his hands on his thighs. Jasper pulled a face, crinkling his nose and looking so damn adorable I just wanted to hold his hand, feel his skin against mine.<p>

"Well, yeah, but only two since I got my license renewed."

"IN JANUARY! Jasper, it's JUNE!"

Rosalie snapped, scanning the ticket,

"Reckless driving...SIXTY IN A THIRTY ZONE? Jasper, are you crazy?"

He shrugged,

"Sorry, Rosie."

She shoved the ticket into her purse with a sigh, rolling her eyes. Beside her, Alice began to giggle, and, as if her laughter was contagious, it passed around the circle until we were all laughing.

"It's practically tradition, Jasper. That makes three years in a row!"

Alice giggled, slapping him on the back. All I could think about was how freakin' bad I wanted to be on the back of that motorcycle...the rush of adrenaline, the speed (since Jasper apparently drove like a maniac), the feel of my body, pressed against his...

"Some fuckin' tradition."  
>Rosalie muttered, but it was obvious she was trying not to smile.<p>

Instead, she caught Jasper off-guard around the waist, and dragged him into the pool, clothing, speeding ticket and all.

They landed with an unceremonious splash, causing whoops and clapping from the crowds of people gathered around the pool. Emmett whooped, throwing his arms up into the air, cannonballing in after them, and soon, everyone was leaping into the water. Bella looked at me, shrugged, and leapt into the water, just as Jasper came up, his eyes sparkling, his white shirt clinging to his chest.

Well, shit.

Now I had to jump in.

I followed Bella's example, jumping off the deck and into the water, joining the throng of laughing, splashing people.

...

Despite Jacob's teasing, Emmett's barbeque was incredible. I held up my burger, giving Emmett the thumbs up. He just winked, and went back to the conversation he was having with Rosalie. The intimate conversation.

I could feel my stomach twist.

Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face,

"Hello, earth to Edward. What's up, buttercup?"

I sighed, my eyes still on Emmett and Rosalie. Their fingers were laced together under the table, and I could feel anger thrum through my veins. Especially as Jasper walked out of the poolhouse, towelling his curls, calling to Emmett,

"Hey, Em, where's my burger?"

"You mean Great BBQ Master?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Great BBQ Master, where the fuck is my food? I'm starving."

And fuck me if hearing him swear didn't do all kinds of things to me.

Emmett snickered, getting up to get Jasper a plate of food. Jasper came over, settling between Bella and Alice in the grass where we were sitting,

"How's it goin', y'all?"

"Just dandy. You?"

Alice smiled, running her tiny hand over his shoulder.

"I'm doin' okay."

Jasper smiled, something in his eyes warning Alice not to push the subject any further. We ate in near silence—I snickered to myself, thinking of my mother's favourite expression: "Nothing silences the Peanut Gallery quite like filling their faces."

People were starting to fill the polished wooden dance floor that I hadn't noticed on the way in by the time we finished dinner. Although Jasper had his back to the dance floor, I could see Emmett and Rosalie, his hands travelling her body in a way that was anything but friend-like. I felt the anger rush through me, catching me off guard.

Impulsively, I grabbed Bella by the hand, yanking her up.

"What? What the fuck Edward?"

She demanded as I dragged her towards the dance floor, my eyes flashing. She followed my gaze, the question passing through her eyes, before her breath caught in her throat,

"Oh...Edward, I'm sure there's an explanation for this..."

"Yeah, like she's a fucking whore who's screwing Jasper over."

I snarled, yanking her on to the floor, purposely slamming into Emmett's back. Hard enough that he was definitely startled. He turned around, anger flashing in his eyes,

"What the fuck, dude?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I fucking touch you inappropriately?"  
>I snapped, my eyes focused exclusively on Rosalie as I'm speaking. Emmett pushes me backwards, almost knocking me into Bella,<p>

"Dude, back off. Don't fucking talk to her like that!"

Don't talk to her like that?  
>How about you don't touch her like you own her, like she's not cheating with you.<p>

Before I could even think it through, my fist flew out, connecting hard with Emmett's jaw.

"Fight!"  
>Somebody called out, sounding distant through the adrenaline and alcohol, and the red haze of anger. Dimly, I recognized that this wasn't my place—I just punched my co-worker in the face because Jasper's girlfriend is cheating on him.<p>

Emmett lunged back at me, his eyes dark and angry, clearly ready to cause me serious bodily harm.

Luckily, before things could go any further, Jacob was on Emmett, pulling him away from me, and Jasper's hands fastened around my arms, hauling me backwards, off the dance floor and into the cool evening air.

"Let it go. Edward, let it go."  
>He kept his hands on me, one gripping the back of my teeshirt, the other on my arm, as if I'm going to fight against him.<p>

As if I would pull away from his touch.

Even in his anger, my name melted off his tongue.

Jasper dragged me around to the deserted side of the house, giving me a shove for good measure,

"Edward, what the FUCK was that?"

Anger tinged his tone, and I had to remind myself that he didn't know that his girlfriend was sleeping with his co-worker. Yet.

But I was about to blow that shit wide open, because I didn't think I could stomach another day of pretending. Of lying to Jasper.

"They're together, Jasper."

Jasper snorted,

"And you thought that would be a good reason to punch Emmett out?"

"No, I mean together, together, Jasper. Like, kissing and fucking around together."

"And what, you were jealous?"

Of Rosalie?

"Shouldn't you be?"  
>"Of what?"<br>I sigh,

"Your girlfriend, dumbass. Your girlfriend and Emmett."

Jasper looked at me, utter bewilderment crossing his features, before he doubled over laughing.

"What the fuck is so funny?"

By the time he looked up at me, he was wiping tears away from his eyes, gasping for breath,

"R-Rose and me? Dating? Dude, she's my sister. My fuckin' twin sister."

Oh boy.

My cheeks immediately flushed scarlet.

"B-but...you...she...what about her accent?"

Jasper shook his head,

"She went to boarding school."

And suddenly, it all clicked into place, and I felt about two inches tall. God, I had to work with Emmett. Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Jasper studied me carefully, apparently thinking his next question through.

"Edward...why the hell do you care if my "girlfriend" kisses some other dude?"

_Because I'm jealous. Jealous that she has you and I don't._

The answer popped into my head before I could stop it.

"I...don't?"

"Well, apparently you do...what the hell is goin' on with you?"

God, I wish I could turn back time. I wish anyone was standing here instead of Jasper, because suddenly he's too close, and the proximity made me feel dizzy, his scent, of fresh air and salt water laced with chlorine making me feel weak,

"I...just...I don't know why it bothered me so much."

Jasper's eyes were darker than they normally are,

"Edward, were you...jealous?"

"What? NO!"

"Really? Cuz I'm going over and over this in my mind, and about all I can come up with is that."

Jasper stepped closer to me, and I involuntarily stepped back, my back hitting the side of the house and suddenly, every movement felt like I was swimming through tar. Jasper was much, much to close to me, and I couldn't think fast enough.

"Edward...were you jealous?"

His voice was rough, and I pushed back the notion that maybe he's as affected by my presence as I am by his. His fingers gripped into my teeshirt, pushing me harder into the wall,

"Were. You. Jealous."

I nodded, slowly, unable to deny it any longer looking into his eyes, and suddenly, he let go of my shirt. The moment was over just as quickly as it had begun. Jasper rubbed one hand on the back of his neck, muttering under his breath to himself,

"Well fuck."

I sighed,

"I…"

"You like Rose?"

My eyes flew open, shock registering across my features, even as Jasper stared at me, something unfathomable swimming below the clear blue of depths of his eyes. In the moment that it takes me to identify it, it has disappeared. My gaze refocused on the ground,

"No. I don't."

_I like you. _It would be so simple, such an easy confession, but I couldn't voice the words. My eyes flicked up to Jasper, his gaze still solidly on me, confusion written in his eyes.

"Then why…"

He trailed off, his eyes snapping suddenly to meet mine,

"Edward, are you…gay?"  
>His words were breathless, his hands suddenly running up and down my arms, touching my bare skin, and leaving fire trailing in their wake. I couldn't look away from him.<p>

"Yes. I…are you?"

He leaned closer, his breath washing over me, and my eyes fluttered closed, our lips brushing together, gently, so gently, and even with the gentleness, I felt desire curl into my belly.

"Jasper..."

My hands wound into his curls, his hair still slightly damp against my skin. He pushed me back into the wall, forcing our bodies flush, and I gasped.

He was just as hard as I was.

Our tongues slid together, the taste of liquor and barbeque and Jasper flooding my senses. It was delicious, and I moaned into the kiss.

The sound seemed to snap Jasper out of the moment.

He pushed back off of me, something dark hidden in his eyes, biting his kiss swollen lower lip,

"Edward…god…I…I can't. I'm so sorry."

Jasper turned, emotion written all over his face, walking away from me.

My heart ached.

…

**Poor Edward.**

**Why can't Jasper? Guesses, thoughts?**

**Please Review!**

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi Kids,**

**Thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing! I appreciate it, and read and love every one of your reviews.**

**Your guesses as to why Jasper can't were fantastic! None were dead on, though. :) **

**...**

My heart felt as though it had been yanked out of my chest as Jasper walked away without looking back. I could feel the pressure of tears building behind my eyes, my throat constricting. I slid down the side of the house, resting my head against the siding, the cement cool beneath my legs. I had finally gotten exactly what I wanted...and having it taken away hurt like hell.

It also hurt like hell knowing that Emmett probably wanted to kick the shit out of me. He had at least fifty pounds of pure muscle on me. All things considered, this night had turned out exactly like the afternoon that had preceded it.

Next time Alice had a headache, I would take it far more seriously than I had this afternoon.

My phone vibrated. It was Bella, of course.

_Hey sugar, you doing okay?_

I sighed, my fingers shaking as I typed my reply,

_Not really. _

It was less than a minute later when Bella appeared at my side, her eyes lit with the sympathy I had grown accustomed to seeing.

"Oh sweetie..."

She sat next to me on the sidewalk, her arms winding around my neck, pulling me close. I couldn't help it. In the warmth and comfort of her embrace, I broke down. What the fuck was the matter with me? I barely knew Jasper. It wasn't as if we'd ever been together. One kiss meant nothing.

And yet, it meant everything.

Bella waited until my breathing evened out, offering me a plastic cup full of what appeared to be ginger ale,

"Clean up, hon. I think you owe poor Emmett an apology. You decked him pretty good."

I nodded, swallowing the gingerale, cool and soothing against my sob-worn throat. I forced a smile, knowing that it was wane at best. Bella nodded, clearly not fooled, but slipped her hand into mine, offering her silent support.

Emmett gave me the finger with a cheerful smile,

"Hey, fuck you Eddie. I hear you were just sticking up for my man, Jazz."

I nodded, embarrassment tinging my cheeks,

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Em."

He shrugged,

"Imma be sporting a wicked black eye. You can make it up to me by not squealing on me when I tell the ladies how I got it."

I rolled my eyes, my smile finally feeling genuine,

"You got it man. We good?"

He nodded, pulling me into yet another man-hug. I felt my stomach settle somewhat, nodding to Bella,

"You ready to go, Ed?"  
>I nodded.<p>

As we walked through the glass door, I caught sight of Jasper, slouched on the porch railing, back lit by the strings of icicle lights. I felt my chest tighten, but nodded my thanks to him for clearing my mess up with Emmett. He tipped his beer in my direction, his eyes hooded and dark, a silent apology hidden somewhere in their depths.

It was enough to make me wonder what the hell had messed Jasper up badly enough that his beautiful baby blues were that clouded over.

...

Bella poured warm milk into the two cups of hot cocoa she was making at the stove, glancing surreptitiously at me when she thought I wasn't looking. She only made hot chocolate with warm milk when one of us had a really terrible night.

The last time had been when she found out Renee and Charlie, her folks, were getting a divorce.

She snuggled next to me on the couch, spreading the fuzzy blanket her grandmother had knitted over us. Her hands stroked my hair gently,

"Edward, what happened tonight?"

I sighed, taking a sip of my hot chocolate. I don't know why Bella ever became a lifeguard—her skills in the kitchen could put half the chefs in Forks to shame.

"I...don't know. I just got so...jealous. It made me so angry that Rosalie...had him, and took Emmett too."

Bella nodded, her eyes contemplative,

"You like him a lot, hey?"

I nodded, but she continued,

"I felt like it was more than that. Anger, jealousy, but the look in your eyes...you looked like you were protecting Jasper. Like it physically hurt you to think that he might get hurt."

I shrugged,

"He looks like a fucking angel, Bells. Of course I feel like I have to protect him."

She nodded, seemingly considering her next words carefully,

"Alice...well, Alice and I were talking a while back. About this. I didn't say anything! She's just so...intuitive," Bella muttered, taking in the look on my face. "Alice said something happened to Jasper before he left Texas. He and Rosalie are living on their own, hey? They have been since they were sixteen."

I processed this new information. It explained the closeness of their relationship, the way they hugged and touched. The way they looked out for each other.

"Did Alice say what happened?"

Bella shook her head,

"No. It seemed to really bother her, though. She said Jasper doesn't like to talk about it, and he probably won't. Unless he has to."

I nodded,

"Well, he won't ever have to, I guess. I...we kissed. But...he just told me he can't. He walked away, Bells..."

Bella sighed, brushing my hair out of my eyes,

"I'm so sorry, Edward. He's obviously been through a lot. Maybe he'll come around?"

I nodded. Maybe he would. But maybe he wouldn't.

My sleep that night was restless, filled with shattered images of Jasper, of the little girl we had saved, and of our kiss, that kept replaying through my head, stuck on a loop.

...

I woke up at 5:30, my muscles surging with adrenaline. It was apparent that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Bella was hardly what I'd call a morning person—in fact, she was more like an ogre than a person in the morning, so I wisely decided to go for a walk. Maybe get some coffee. I started work at ten, and I could easily walk from our apartment to the beach in that time. I scrawled a note to Bella,

_Bells,_

_Couldn't sleep._

_Walking down the beach to work._

_I'm okay._

_Xoxo._

I taped it to the bathroom mirror, knowing that she'd never find it otherwise.

The sun was just beginning to peek up over the mountains, every surface glittering with a sheen of dew, as I left the house with my backpack. It was a long walk, and it would probably take me most of the time before I started to get there. But I welcomed the walk.

I needed the time, to clear my head, before I had to work with Jasper again.

The kiss, the searing heat and desire that had passed between us kept playing over and over in my head. It was beginning to drive me crazy.

No one kissed like that unless they meant it. Right?

But maybe it was just me.

Maybe everything was all in my head.

I had been wrong about needing time to clear my head, I realized. By the time I reached the beach, I was going over every detail of every moment Jasper and I had ever shared in my head.

It was pathetic, but in a strange way, it was also almost cleansing.

I took a sip of the coffee I'd stopped to buy, looking out over the water at the sunrise, watching the early-morning runners and their dogs run by.

It was almost 9:30 when I reached the guard house. The beach was far from busy, a couple walking hand in hand down the beach the only patrons within view. I pulled out my earphones, ready to have some downtime in the guard room before I began the day (goodness knows there would be paperwork to go along with yesterday's incident,), but raised voices in the air startled me.

"—You KISSED him? Jesus, you never learn, do you?"

"Rose, I just...I wanted to, so badly...he wouldn't tell. Not if I asked him not to."

Jasper's lilting drawl was clipped, cut short by his anger and obvious anguish. Were they fighting about me? Without meaning to, I slowed my steps to listen.

"Jasper, I gave up my life for you. Don't you think I wanted things too? Take a second, and stop being so god damn selfish."

"Rose, they were killing you! You were killing yourself. This has been the best thing for both of us, and you know it. We...we made it."

"No, Jasper. You made it. You're okay. I'll never be the same, never as good as I could have been."

Rosalie stormed down the guard ramp, slamming the door behind her, her eyes flashing. She glared at me, flipping her hair as she passed me,

"If you tell anyone about my brother, I swear to god, I will kill you."

Something in her eyes told me she wasn't joking.

I walked up the guard ramp with leaden feet. My head swirled, thoughts making it ache before the day had even begun. Jasper sat at the desk, bent over the stack of incident reports and forms from yesterday.

"Good morning."

I murmured, trying not to look at him, because I was sure the questions were written all over my face. Jasper jolted, looking up at me with shock in his eyes,

"Edward. Shit. You...I..."

I shook my head,

"Don't worry about it."

Relief washed his features before he had time to cover it. I put my stuff down, tugging on my guard shirt,

"I'm going to take the first shift on the water, okay?"

The situation had tragically reversed. Jasper looked up at me, the desire to say something obvious in his eyes. Instead, he nodded slowly, and said nothing.

I felt incredibly anxious, hyper-vigilant sitting out in the guard chair by myself. I felt like I was waiting for the next serious incident to occur. When Emmett arrived to bump me off (sporting a glorious black eye), I was surprised to realize that I hadn't relaxed all day. Emmett winked at me,

"Hey Bruiser."

Apparently I had a new nic-name. Awesome.

"We're going to the bar tonight. Be there, or I'll return the favour."

He grinned at me, gesturing to his bruised eye. I raised one eyebrow,

"I...okay. Who else is going?"

Emmett grinned wider,

"Oh, you know...me, Rose, Alice, Jasper..."

I sighed. Another night involving alcohol and Jasper? It must have been some small, masochistic part of me that blurted,

"Fine. I'll see you tonight."

I wandered off the beach slowly, taking deep breaths and trying to decompress.

Jasper was already gone when I got back to the guard hut. Bella smiled at me, her hair curling in a sloppy half-pony,

"I hear your going to the bar tonight."

I nodded,

"Yeah, sounds like it. You wanna come?"

She shook her head,

"No way. Jacob's taking me for dinner. It's our first real date."

She grinned, her megawhatt smile lighting up the whole room. I grinned back, genuinely happy for her.

"Sweet. Have fun."

"Will do. Do you want to take the truck?"

I nodded sheepishly,

"That'd be great. Thanks."

She smirked,

"Yeah, no problem."

…

The bar was dimly lit, smoke glazing the entire room as I walked in. I fought the urge to cough.

Palm trees lined the wall along the bar, and I caught sight of a plastic, wilted parrot as I walked up to the bar and ordered a vodka and cranberry. Bella loved to tease me, telling me real boys drank beer, but I just couldn't stomach it.

Emmett and Rosalie were sitting at a table in the corner, Alice beside them, sucking a pink drink through a straw. Jasper nowhere to be seen.

"Hi Edward!"

Alice grinned up at me, her eyes sparkling. Emmett grinned up at me,

"Hey, my man."

We shook hands across the table. Rosalie remained silent, a sour look on her face in spite of the alcohol.

As I sat down, Jasper floated in, looking more exhausted than I was used to seeing him. He smiled wanly at me, as if he wasn't quite sure of what to say. Rosalie glared daggers at him, but Emmett seemed oblivious.

"Jazz man, what's going on?"

"Not much, Em. Tired."

Alice rubbed one tiny hand along his arm,

"Yeah, you look tired…something bothering you?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. Jasper's expression darkened, but he ignored her,

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for askin', though."

"Of course he's fine."

Rosalie snapped from the other side of the table. Jasper closed his eyes briefly, as if summoning some inner strength, and ignored her. I sighed. Why had I agreed to come along again? It was like a horror movie playing out in front of my eyes.

"Can I get you a drink, Jasper?"

I asked him, taking in the bags under his eyes. Rosalie turned to look at me, her eyes storming, and I immediately knew I was in trouble,

"You…you…do NOT buy him anything."

Jasper glared at her, but when he spoke his voice was quiet and firm,

"Rosalie, quit bein' so damn rude. It's just a drink. I'd love one. Thanks, Edward."

I got up from the table and bought him a beer, realizing as I walked away that my shoes stuck to the floor in a most unappetizing way. At least the beer was cold. And cheap. I guess that's why Emmett liked this place, although it didn't seem like money was an issue for him.

"Here you go."

Jasper smiled gratefully at me, but whether it was for the beer or the interruption, I couldn't be sure. Rosalie jerked her hand out of Emmett's as he clumsily tried to comfort her. Alice looked perturbed.

I took a deep drink of my vodka and oj. If ever there was a time for shots…

I sighed. Everyone else seemed to be in the same frame of mind as I was, sipping their drinks faster, rather than slower.

It was some time and many drinks later when Alice wandered over to the jukebox and the strains of a soft slow song filled the room. She walked out on to the dance floor, dancing by herself, her body moving in sensual lines to the music. Emmett smiled at Rosalie,

"You wanna dance, Rose?"

She shook her head vehemently,

"No."

Jasper, who must've been feeling the liquor, because I certainly was, finally snapped at her,

"Jesus, Rose, go dance with your fuckin' boyfriend. What do you think is gonna happen? We're gonna have sex right here and out ourselves to the entire fucking town?"

"Do NOT speak to me that way, Jasper."

"Whatever, Rose. I'm done."

Jasper rose and half walked, half stumbled around the table, pushing his way out the back door. For some unknown reason, perhaps to make sure he was okay, or maybe to soothe my curiosity, I followed him.

I was more than a little tipsy.

So, of course, was he.

Jasper leaned against the grimy wall of the bar, his eyes dark and shadow-lit, smoking a cigarette. I'd never thought much of smoking—nasty habit, as my doctor father often put it—but seeing the smoke curl and whisp from Jasper's full lips was an undeniable turn on.

"Edward."

His voice was rough, gravel breaking it, and yet the southern accent softened it just enough to make it bearable. His eyes were dark, with memory, with anger, I couldn't be sure. I reached out one hand, my desire to _touch _him almost overwhelming.

My hand fastened around his arm, but instead of pulling him against me like I longed to do, I pulled him down to sit on the cool pavement next to me.

"Jasper..."

I didn't say any more. I didn't have to. The way his name melted out of my mouth said it all.

Jasper leaned away, blowing smoke out into the cool night air. When he turned back to me, I was surprised to see that he was crying, silent tears sliding down his cheeks.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him, to pull him close and let him know through my body that it would be okay, but I knew instinctively that he would pull away if I did. Instead, I leaned down so we were sitting shoulder to shoulder, gently lacing our fingers together, hidden from view between our bodies.

He began to speak, softly, his voice rough with tears, and I knew I was finally going to hear the story Alice had been talking about. The story that caused him and Rosalie to fight the way they had in the guard hut...

"When Rose and I were little, we were inseparable. Best friends, literally willing to lay down our lives for each other. She...she was a dancer, classical ballet. When we turned eleven, Mama and Daddy sent her to SAB, the School of American Ballet. She...loved it. She flourished. But without her, I fell apart."

Jasper paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. The tears had stopped, but his fingers gripped mine with bone-crushing strength,

"The year we turned thirteen, Mama took me to New York to see Rosie perform. It wasn't like I had never seen her dance before, but that night...she looked like an angel. Delicate, and so beautiful...it was the happiest birthday we celebrated together, I think."

Jasper turned to look at me, his eyes hazy and backlit with tears,

"The next year, when she came home for our birthday, I caught her throwing up Mama's birthday cake after dinner. She promised me she was just sick, not used to all the fat, you know? I should have known. I should have known better, but I just believed her..."

Jasper turned away, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. I squeezed his hand gently,

"You were fourteen, how could you possibly have known?"

He shook his head,

"She's my fuckin' twin, Edward. We're in sync. I know. I should have known."

I sighed, but waited silently for him to continue.

"With Rose gone, I started hangin' out on the streets, mixin' with the wrong crowd. You know, bein' fourteen an' all. I had never really thought about my sexuality much, never really noticed that I didn't like girls the same way my friends did..."

Jasper paused, fighting for his next breath, trying to keep the tears from spilling over again,

"When I met Peter, I had just turned fifteen, and it was like a lightbulb went on. We just...clicked. It was instant, and it was...electric, and beautiful, and amazin' and everythin' a first love should be. He was my first kiss, and god...I fell head over heels for him. But...livin' in the south like that..."

Jasper broke off, biting his lip so hard that I could see blood beginning to seep around his teeth. Gently, I ran my thumb along his bottom lip, and he let it go from his teeth.

"One night, Peter and I were walkin' home from the Fair. It was late, and dark, and we shoulda known better, but god...we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were kissing, in an alley, behind a fuckin' dumpster—because even then, we knew enough to be a little scared—when they found us."

Jasper drew a deep, shuddering breath, a single, strangled sob rising from his chest, and I could feel my own eyes begin to fill. My beautiful, beautiful boy...

"They called us fuckin' faggots, and they ripped us apart. They beat Peter unconscious, made an example of him, I guess. Took a crowbar to his ribs, smashed his head into a pile of bricks and left him there on the concrete to die. And then they started in on me. They...broke three of my ribs, punctured one of my lungs, gave me a severe concussion...I don't remember it, but I guess the cops found them before...before they killed me."

Jasper broke off, desperation blatant in his eyes as he looked at me. I hesitated, but drew him closer, letting him rest his head in the crook of my neck.

"When I woke up, they told me I'd been in the ICU for three months—slept right through our fuckin' sweet sixteen—in a chemically-induced coma, so the swellin' in my brain could heal up. Then they told me...they told me P-Peter d-d-didn't make it. H-he died, b-because of me that night, on that fuckin' f-freezin' street, and, god, I...I've never stopped feelin' guilty for that."

I pressed my lips gently to his forehead,

"Not your fault, Jasper."

"But it IS my fault. If he'd never met me...he'd still be a-alive."

Jasper shook his head, unwilling to let me take any of the weight off his shoulders,

"My folks came around a little while after I woke up. Mama held my hand for a little while, and cried, and then my Daddy came in. And he looked at me—God, I musta looked like shit, shattered cheekbone and black eye and all—and he told me that it was a shame they hadn't just killed me too, cause it woulda saved him the damn trouble."

I inhaled sharply, but Jasper just shook his head,

"You have to understand, Edward, that my Mama and Daddy love me an' Rosalie very, very much. But...my Daddy's a big-shot politician in Austin, and people down there aren't always accepting of people's differences. It's not my Daddy's fault I turned out like this."

My beautiful, precious boy...I felt like my heart was breaking. Jasper took a deep breath, chewing on his lip,

"As soon as I could walk, my daddy kicked me out. I had no place to go, so I called Rose. Daddy told her if she helped me, he'd stop payin' her tuition, so Rose...she left SAB. She walked out that door, and she didn't even flinch. Of course, when I picked her up, she weighed just under 100 pounds...they were killing her. She was killing herself to be some perfect fuckin' ballerina...sometimes, I think takin' her away from there was the best damn thing I ever did."

Jasper sighed, his gaze fixed far away.

"We were sixteen, with no money and no place to go. So, we drove until we ran outta cash and gas, and ended up here. I got certified, and Rose began teachin' at the local dance academy, and together, we barely made ends meet. Luckily, when we turned nineteen, our trust funds kicked in. So, now we get to play our parts as fuckin' messed up trust fund babies with no future...Rose gave up her life for me. She gave up her life, and her career, and I...she's right, it's selfish for me to want you as badly as I do, Edward."

Jasper turned to look at me, his eyes lit with strength and determination, but also stubbornness, as if daring me to disagree with him. I took a deep breath, unable to form the words to make this right.

Instead, I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his, tasting the salty tang of his tears and the raw taste of blood in his mouth. Jasper leaned into me, kissing me desperately, and I could tell he was searching for something, anything, to warm the ache inside him.

I knew I was.

...

**Thoughts?**

**Comments?**

**Was it worth waiting for?**

**(I sure hope so!)**

**Let me know what you thought! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi Kids,**

**Thank you for your patience! School has been kicking my ass...crunch time and all that jazz. Plus perhaps a little writer's block. **

**Solution?**

**Finally taking a look inside that pretty little blonde head of Jasper's. I felt like I couldn't write his perspective before this, because I didn't want to give away all his secrets, but now that they're out...Let's give him a shot. **

**Let me know what you think!**

**...**

**Jasper's Point of View**

I glared at Rosalie across the table of the dim lit, smoky bar. She was bein' so damn rude to Edward, and it was making me so angry.

"Jesus, Rose, go dance with your fuckin' boyfriend. What do you think is gonna happen? We're gonna have sex right here and out ourselves to the entire fucking town?"

My accent was thickened in my frustration. Rose raised one eyebrow, her eyes flashing,

"Do NOT speak to me that way, Jasper."

I stood, shaking my head so that my too-long blonde curls bounced into my eyes,

"Whatever, Rose. I'm done."

It was our code word, one brought about by years of sibling fights, some harmless, and some more serious. It meant we needed to cool down, before one of us said something we regretted. I turned and walked swiftly away, pushing through the people and out the fire exit, feeling the alcohol weaving through my blood, making me unsteady.

I sensed Edward before I felt him, before he spoke. The cigarette I was smoking sent curls of smoke twisting upwards from between my lips, and Edward simply stared, transfixed. Oral fixation much? I wanted to smirk, but I was surprised to feel the lump beginning to form in my throat.

I was thinking of Peter, of course.

Peter, and the fact that I couldn't hurt another person like that. Couldn't allow another beautiful boy, with so much life in his eyes, put his life in danger for me.

Let alone Rosalie, who had literally given up everything for me...I couldn't, would not, put her through that again. She deserved to be happy, and she deserved to have stability, and if that meant I didn't get to have a boyfriend, then that was okay.

Edward studied me, his green eyes unfocused, and I could see the battle raging in his eyes as to whether or not he should ask if I was alright.

"Edward..."

My voice came out like gravel, and he reached out, his hand warm against my skin—how long had it been since I had felt warmth like that? –and pulled me down to sit next to him on the grimy pavement. The chill of the night had just begun to set in, the streetlight flickering in the distance, and all I could think about was Peter. Peter, and Rose, and how much people had sacrificed for me. Edward's eyes held questions, questions I wasn't sure I wanted to answer, and yet I knew I owed him more than that.

Because his eyes were so damn beautiful that it made me ache inside to see them filled with pain, and worry and questions.

"Jasper..."

My name _melted _off his tongue, and my breathing hitched, the tears finally spilling over and running down my cheeks in salty rivers. I turned away quickly, blowing the last of the smoke out of my lungs before I turned back to him. Shock registered in his eyes at my tears, but he didn't speak, instead leaning into my shoulder and lacing our fingers together.

Warmth and heat travelled up my arm, flooding into my body with fireworks of light, and it felt so damn good I knew I would never be able to forgive myself if I damaged him. With a deep breath, I began speaking.

Start from the beginning, right? That's how all stories go.

Even those as tragic as mine.

"When Rose and I were little, we were inseparable. Best friends, literally willing to lay down our lives for each other. She...she was a dancer, classical ballet. When we turned eleven, Mama and Daddy sent her to SAB, the School of American Ballet. She...loved it. She flourished. But without her, I fell apart."

My fingers gripped Edward's tightly, probably past the point of pain, as if willing his seemingly unshakable strength to flow into me. I remembered the day Rose left vividly, her eyes lit with excitement, but haunted with her worry for me,

_"Be safe, Jazzy. I love you."_

And then she'd gotten on the plane, and I had fallen apart.

My best friend. Gone, just like that.

"The year we turned thirteen, Mama took me to New York to see Rosie perform. It wasn't like I had never seen her dance before, but that night...she looked like an angel. Delicate, and so beautiful...it was the happiest birthday we celebrated together, I think."

The tears were beginning to well in my eyes again, swelling against my eyelids as I fought to choke them back. Rosalie's beauty that night had always haunted me. What I had taken from her, what she had given up for me...the what-ifs were immeasurable, each one harder to take than the last. But Rose never held it against me.

Until now.

Until Edward's presence threatened to uproot us again.

I couldn't put Rosalie through that again.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself before I spoke again,

"The next year, when she came home for our birthday, I caught her throwing up Mama's birthday cake after dinner. She promised me she was just sick, not used to all the fat, you know? I should have known. I should have known better, but I just believed her..."

I paused, lost in the memory, turning to take a deep drag off the cigarette.

_ "Rosie?"_

_My hands shook as I opened the bathroom door, steeling myself for what lay on the other side. Rosalie wiped her mouth with the back of one shaking, bone-lit hand. _

_ "You okay, Rose? Want me to get Mama?"_

_She shook her head vehemently,_

_ "No. I'm fine, Jas. Just...all the fat, you know? I don't usually eat like that at SAB. It's hard on my stomach, I guess."_

_I nodded, rubbing her back slowly as she brushed her teeth, coming to stand behind her in the mirror. We looked like polar opposites, like we weren't even related. Where my cheeks were full, lit with healthy colour, hers were gaunt, her cheekbones standing out too prominently. My hands wound around her waist, feeling her ribs and hipbones jutting against me as she leaned her head back against my shoulder, her eyes fluttering closed briefly._

_ "I'm so tired, Jazzy. So...tired."_

_My eyes traced the lines of her body, wondering how such grace and strength and power could come from such a tiny frame, but I helped her down the hallway and tucked her into bed. Her eyes opened, briefly, the shocking blue matching my own, and I could see the demons dancing in her eyes._

Edward's hand squeezed gently against mine, his words meant to soothe me when he spoke,

"You were fourteen, how could you possibly have known?"

His suggestion that I hadn't seen the signs was almost laughable. Rose and I were twins, in sync and inseperable for most of our lives. I shook my head,

"She's my fuckin' twin, Edward. We're in sync. I know. I should have known."

Edward sighed, but seemed to resign himself to the truth of my words. Rose's eating disorder may not have been my fault, but the fact that she hadn't gotten help was entirely on me. I paused before I continued, fighting to keep my breathing even. It felt strange to me, voicing my questions about my sexuality, and I could feel my eyes darting around, looking for the danger I was almost sure was looming.

"With Rose gone, I started hangin' out on the streets, mixin' with the wrong crowd. You know, bein' fourteen an' all. I had never really thought about my sexuality much, never really noticed that I didn't like girls the same way my friends did..."

I paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath before I continued. Peter's memory always did this to me, and I hated it, because I knew that it wasn't how he would want to be remembered. His love, his laughter...his life, the one I saw written in his eyes, should be remembered the same way.

"When I met Peter, I had just turned fifteen, and it was like a lightbulb went on. We just...clicked. It was instant, and it was...electric, and beautiful, and amazin' and everythin' a first love should be. He was my first kiss, and god...I fell head over heels for him. But...livin' in the south like that..."

_"What's your name, gorgeous?"_

_Smirking at my sudden inability to speak, the boy held his hand out to me. His hair was medium length, and fell into aqua coloured eyes that I knew I wouldn't be able to forget even if I tried. His body, hugged tight in a red tee-shirt and jeans, was athletically built, but not overzealously so—a swimmer, maybe? He grinned, a full blown, mega-whatt smile as I extended my hand, the warmth of his hand tingling in mine,_

_ "Ah'm Jasper."_

_My accent was so thick it surprised even me, a hint of gravel in my tone. He winked,_

_ "Pleased to meet you, Jasper. I'm Peter."_

_It seemed to me that the party we were both attending had suddenly become too hot, too stuffy and far too intrusive into whatever was happening between us. Most of the people here were too high, too drunk, to notice what was happening between Peter and I, but I didn't care. I wanted to keep him private. I didn't want to share. _

_ "Do you want to go for a walk?"_

_His eyes lit with excitement, with mischief, and an undeniable hint of desire, and I suddenly found myself returning his smile with one of my own. He bit back a groan, and I bit my lip at the sudden wave of sensation that passed over me. _

_ We walked out the door without looking back, and got lost in the neighbour's corn field. As we walked, lit by shadows and the dim light of the moon, Peter turned to me, his eyes dark with something I couldn't place._

_ "Jasper..."_

_He pulled me in front of him by the hand where we were joined, and suddenly our bodies were flush. Feeling his breath, hot against my skin, I began to harden. Internally, I began to panic._

_ "Can I kiss you?"_

_I stared into his eyes, shocked by his proposition—because boys don't kiss boys, do they?—but feeling my panic melt away at the thought of his lips on mine. _

_ "I...yes?" _

_Peter grinned at me, running his thumb across my lower lip,_

_ "I've wanted to do this since I saw you, beautiful..."_

_And then his lips were pressed against mine, and it was the sweetest, most innocent kiss I'd ever experienced. It didn't scream for sex, didn't push further than I was ready for, but that didn't stop it from lighting a fire, deep within my belly, coiled and ready to burst._

_When I moaned into the kiss, opening my mouth to Peter, he groaned,_

_ "Beautiful...that's my boy."_

_Grinning against my parted lips before assaulting me with his tongue, and our kiss quickly spiralled out of innocent and into the passionate, deep kiss that you see in the movies. We kissed for hours before the clouds that had been forming when we walked out of the party opened up, rain falling cool against our overheated skin, turning my tee-shirt translucent, making Peter's hair fall into his eyes further. _

_We were laughing, kissing, and dancing in circles beneath the lightening sky. _

_In that moment, we were perfect._

_In that moment, I fell in love._

Edward looked at me, silently waiting for me to continue, already sensing, I'm sure, that this story was not one with a happy ending. His thumb ran over my bottom lip and came away bloody, although I felt no pain. I released my lip, realizing I'd been biting on it, caught up in the memory. The next part was the hardest, and I briefly contemplated how to continue. How do you put a first love into words? How do you measure something that was so brief, and yet changed the course of my life so irrevocably?

"One night, Peter and I were walkin' home from the Fair. It was late, and dark, and we shoulda known better, but god...we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were kissing, in an alley, behind a fuckin' dumpster—because even then, we knew enough to be a little scared—when they found us."

I took a deep, shuddering breath, desperate to stop the strangled sobs that rose up from my chest. The aching hole Peter had left behind had subsided, but that didn't stop the wounds from tearing open anew every single time I had to vocalize this story.

_ "What the fuck is wrong with you, Peter? Why do you always have to play the hero?"_

_He shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes,_

_ "I don't, Jasper. Just your hero."  
>I glared at him,<em>

_ "You know what woulda made you my hero? Not OUTING both of us to those guys!"_

_ "What was I supposed to do, Jas? They were callin' you names. I don't...I can't let them do that to my boy."_

_He went to hold my hand, but I snatched it away. Later, when I woke up in the ICU, I would have given anything to feel his hand in mine again._

_ "I don't care. They're just some stupid guys at the Fair, Peter. They can call me whatever they want, it doesn't matter."_

_ "But it DOES matter! You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, Jasper."_

_ "I'm NOT! But that doesn't mean I want it broadcasted to the entire fucking world, either!"_

_We walked in silence for a while, before Peter finally murmured,_

_ "Baby...I love you. I just...want to protect you."_

_I nodded, _

_ "I love you too..."_

_Our eyes met, his intentions and my anger swirling to form desire so intense it made goosebumps break out on my skin, despite the summer heat. On impulse, I gripped his hand in mine, dragging him off the main road and into the alley that was veiled in darkness. _

_Behind the dumpster, I slammed him up against the brick wall, feeling his breath catch as much as hearing it before I crushed our mouths together in a bruising, heated kiss. Peter moaned, his hands travelling my back, skimming my skin, and I shivered violently. _

_"Jesus, Jasper..."  
>I ground my hips into his, gasping when our erections met to create the most delicious friction I'd ever felt.<em>

_ "God, Peter, please..."_

_ "Please what, baby?"_

_He captured my moan in his mouth at the images of what exactly I wanted him to do flashed through my head. His fingers threaded through my hair, pulled me impossibly closer, and I could feel the desire dancing through my veins, electricity sparking between us._

_That's when we heard them._

_ "Hey boys, looks like we caught up with y'all."_

_An innocent statement, had it not been for the sneering animosity in his tone._

_Peter's eyes widened, lit with fear, as we pulled apart. I turned slowly, taking in the same five men who had harassed us at the Fair. Now they were drunk—I could smell the whiskey on their breath from where I stood—and one cradled a crow-bar in his arms._

_ "Please, guys, we didn't mean any harm."_

_Peter's tone was firm, infused with strength, but his fingers crawled against my skin, giving away his anxiety. _

_The alley was a dead end. _

_There was no way out._

_ "See, here's the thing, I didn't take you to be the bitch. You, with your tough words and all, but here we find you, bein' held up against the wall by him."_

_One of them spat at me, and I closed my eyes briefly, silently praying for this to simply end._

_ "What, you ain't got nothin' to say about that now, you fuckin' faggot?"_

_The man with the crowbar stepped closer to us, and I tried to hide the fear flashing through my eyes. His rough fingers caressed my cheek, his whiskey breath washing over me,_

_ "How about if I touch your boyfriend, cocksucker?"_

_Beside me, Peter's eyes were flashing, but he remained silent. The man gripped me by the arm suddenly, shoving me hard towards the end of the alley before he raised the crowbar to Peter,_

_ "You fuckin' faggots need to learn your fuckin' place."_

_As he brought the hard metal down on Peter's ribs, I screamed, lunging for him, but two of the other men caught me before I could reach him, laughing as I struggled, screaming, but unable to get free._

_When they started hitting me, I stopped screaming._

_The last thing I remember before everything went black was the blood, my blood, Peter's blood, mingling, trickling down the storm drain in the alley. _

_I don't think I'd ever seen as much blood as I did that night._

I stared at Edward, trying to form the events of that night into words.

"They called us fuckin' faggots, and they ripped us apart. They beat Peter unconscious, made an example of him, I guess. Took a crowbar to his ribs, smashed his head into a pile of bricks and left him there on the concrete to die. And then they started in on me. They...broke three of my ribs, punctured one of my lungs, gave me a severe concussion...I don't remember it, but I guess the cops found them before...before they killed me."

I tried not to let the guilt show in my eyes. Guilt because if Peter hadn't been protecting me, he would still be alive. Edward hesitated, but pulled me closer into his body. It was dangerous, I knew it was, but I couldn't help laying my head against the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

"When I woke up, they told me I'd been in the ICU for three months—slept right through our fuckin' sweet sixteen—in a chemically-induced coma, so the swellin' in my brain could heal up. Then they told me...they told me P-Peter d-d-didn't make it. H-he died, b-because of me that night, on that fuckin' f-freezin' street, and, god, I...I've never stopped feelin' guilty for that."

Strangled sobs ripped their way out of my chest, and Edward gently pressed his lips to my forehead as my body heaved.

"Not your fault, Jasper."

"But it IS my fault. If he'd never met me...he'd still be a-alive."

I couldn't explain it any other way. Peter's death was a direct result of my involvement in his life. A beautiful, kind, heroic boy had died that night because of me. Taking in deep lungfulls of air, trying desperately to calm my breathing before I continued.

"My folks came around a little while after I woke up. Mama held my hand for a little while, and cried, and then my Daddy came in. And he looked at me—God, I musta looked like shit, shattered cheekbone and black eye and all—and he told me that it was a shame they hadn't just killed me too, cause it woulda saved him the damn trouble."

Edward inhaled sharply, as if there was something wrong with my father's statements, but I knew he was just being honest with me. I didn't resent him, it was just a reality of the south.

"You have to understand, Edward, that my Mama and Daddy love me an' Rosalie very, very much. But...my Daddy's a big-shot politician in Austin, and people down there aren't always accepting of people's differences. It's not my Daddy's fault I turned out like this."

It had hurt, of course, when my father kicked me out, but it wasn't as if it had been unexpected, or even undeserved.

"As soon as I could walk, my daddy kicked me out. I had no place to go, so I called Rose. Daddy told her if she helped me, he'd stop payin' her tuition, so Rose...she left SAB. She walked out that door, and she didn't even flinch. Of course, when I picked her up, she weighed just under 100 pounds...they were killing her. She was killing herself to be some perfect fuckin' ballerina...sometimes, I think takin' her away from there was the best damn thing I ever did."

And sometimes, I thought it was the worst thing I ever did. How selfish I had been, asking her to give up her dreams for me. She had, of course, but I knew how much it hurt her. Some days, when I went to pick her up from the studio, I arrived early just to watch her dance. Like an angel, flying through the air, she literally took my breath away as she moved and it broke my heart that she would never get to share that with anyone else. One day, I had arrived to find her crying, her knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing like her heart was broken.

And, I supposed, it probably was.

My eyes drifted, fixing on some far off point, before I spoke again.

"We were sixteen, with no money and no place to go. So, we drove until we ran outta cash and gas, and ended up here. I got certified, and Rose began teachin' at the local dance academy, and together, we barely made ends meet. Luckily, when we turned nineteen, our trust funds kicked in. So, now we get to play our parts as fuckin' messed up trust fund babies with no future...Rose gave up her life for me. She gave up her life, and her career, and I...she's right, it's selfish for me to want you as badly as I do, Edward."

In my head, I pictured the struggles we had gone through to get to where we were. I pictured Rosalie, taking on the portly chief of the Forks Dance Academy, ("Why should I hire you? You're a nobody," the woman snapped. Rosalie remained unfazed, "Because I'm the best you'll ever have at this school.") She was the best they had, but sometimes, watching her with the chubby little girls who would never dance at more than a community talent show, I could feel my own heart breaking for her.

And Rosalie was right. Wanting Edward was the most selfish thing I had done in a long time. I couldn't explain to him that if we had to leave again, if I were threatened again, it would quite simply destroy Rose.

Edward watched me sift through my memories silently, his eyes dark. Before I could speak again, he leaned towards me, capturing my mouth into a kiss that was everything I needed and more.

As always, electric energy passed between us, crackling in the air. I drank it in, allowing it to warm the chill that seemed to have set into my bones since Peter's death. Edward ran his fingers down my cheek, wiping away my tears,

"Let's go home. I'll call a cab."

I nodded, slowly pulling myself to my feet, feeling utterly exhausted. Although Rosalie had talked to Alice, and presumably Emmett, about our past, I had never really told anyone. Never let on about the guilt that I had carried for years. And telling Edward had been exhausting, and draining, and somehow, I felt lighter for it.

Without bothering to question, Edward simply rattled off his address to the cab driver, and took me home with him. His apartment was small, filled with eclectic furniture and strange decorations, and I realized that this was what it must be like to be a student. Briefly, I felt jealously wash over me, before I felt Edwards hands on my hips, tugging on the hem of my tee-shirt,

"Let's get you ready for bed."

I nodded, allowing him to take my tee-shirt off. There was nothing sexual in his touch, although I knew that if I looked into his eyes, I would see desire hidden in their deep, mossy depths. I let him lead me into his bedroom, dress me in pajama bottoms, and tuck me into his bed. It felt so good to be taken care of, to have someone else take responsibility for me, and I suddenly understood what Rosalie had snarled at me during a fight we had had not too long after we'd left—"We had to grow up too damn fast, Jasper." It had never made sense, and now it did.

Edward pulled the blankets up around me, the fatigue showing in his eyes as well as he kissed me on the forehead,

"Goodnight, Jasper. I'll be on the couch if you need me. I'll see you in the morning...and thank you."

Thank you? Thank you for what, practically vomiting my darkest secrets all over him? I shook my head, my fingers fastening around his arm,

"Stay with me? Please?"

I knew what I was asking, knew that if Edward and I spent the night together it would change our relationship irrevocably. I didn't care, I needed his touch, his warmth. I needed to know that I was still alive after spilling my heart to him. Edward considered for a moment, but then he nodded, crawling into bed next to me, lying to face me so that his breath washed over my shoulder,

"Jasper...you are so beautiful. You need to forgive yourself for what happened. It's not your fault."  
>I opened my mouth to argue, but Edward leaned forward, gently silencing me with his lips against mine. He linked our fingers together, gently, so gently, and smiled sleepily at me. His eyes, moss green and haunting, were the last thing I saw before I drifted off into sleep.<p>

...

**Well? **

**Thoughts?**

**Comments?**

**Should I continue with Jasper's POV?**

**Let me know!**


	7. Chapter 7

Hi Kids!

I'm SO sorry this has taken so long...again, school...end of semester crash, and I'm already checked so far out the door towards Christmas that it's hard to focus on anything! But thank you for your patience, and for sticking with me!

Once again, let me know what you think, yes?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

JPOV

I woke up in Edward's arms, my throat thick and my head aching. I felt stronger, like my soul had been soothed, his acceptance a balm for my loss. At least now he knew why we could never be together—I was like poison, and everything I touched ended badly. Edward slept softly beside me, his long, dark eyelashes resting on his high cheekbones, his wild hair giving him a freshly fucked look. I smiled wistfully. _If only..._

Bringing myself back to reality with a sigh, I disentangled myself from Edward, careful not to wake him as I dressed quickly. There were no missed messages on my phone, which meant that I was definitely still in the doghouse with Rose. I tied my shoes, and contemplated leaving a note for Edward, but decided not to—why prolong the heartache of something that could never be anyways?

"Jasper?"

Edward appeared behind me, his features marred by sleep. I grimaced. So much for quiet.

"Edward. Thank you for everything last night. I'm glad...well, I'm just glad."

He nodded, coming towards me to run his fingers over my unwashed curls, smelling musky and delicious from sleep. This boy was going to be the death of me, and I doubted he even knew it. Although...the way he kissed...

I smiled wanly,

"I should get going. I didn't want to wake you. It's just...Rosalie, and all."

A shadow passed over Edward's features, and I knew he had forgotten all about Rose and her towering anger until I mentioned it. He frowned,

"At least let me make you breakfast? You must be hungry."

I sighed. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. Breakfast was a dangerous meal—it implied intimacy, and, even worse, it facilitated intimate conversation. Edward looked so genuine, standing there in his pajama bottoms, his emerald eyes focused intently on me, trying to decipher my thoughts, no doubt.

"Well, okay."

He smiled,

"Pancakes?"

I shrugged, it was irrelevant, I was already in far over my head simply by agreeing to breakfast. I seated myself at the kitchen counter, watching Edward bustle about in the kitchen, wishing like hell there was a way for me to get out of this,

"What's the story with the speeding, Jasper?"

His question surprised me. Most people wanted to know what it was like growing up in the south, or how Rosalie and I had made it on our own. Deep, intimate questions. Edward's question was light, innocent. Maybe he had understood the point of my story better than I originally thought. I grinned at him,

"I don't have to answer to anyone anymore. Rose and I have more money than we could spend in a lifetime from our trust funds, and I just...love it. The adrenaline rush is like nothing I've ever felt. It's an incredible high."

He nodded, pouring batter onto the griddle,

"I'd love to ride with you one day."

I wondered if he understood the innuendo behind his meaning. I wished I could play on it, say something like, _You can ride me anytime, Eddie, _but instead, I just nodded meekly.

"What was it like, growing up here?"  
>Damn it. I hadn't meant to ask, hadn't meant to blurt out a question that gave the distinct impression that I was beginning to care for Edward. My feelings for him ran deeper than I cared to admit, but I told myself it was simply the fact that I had bared my soul to him last night.<p>

"It was...very small town. Things are easier now that I'm at university, but growing up here was tough. High school was hell—but I guess you experienced that too."  
>I shook my head. High school had been fun for me. I was beautiful, I was popular, and I was smart. It probably would have become difficult if I had stayed in Austin after Peter's death...<p>

Edward shrugged,

"Anyways. I didn't come out until university. But by then I was just done pretending. And it's working for me."

He placed two golden pancakes in front of me, and I began eating, cutting them into bite sized pieces as I murmured,

"And you're not scared?"

Edward shook his head,

"Not really, no. I've never...been attacked, or even harassed. I guess I've lived a pretty easy life, and so it just seems like a fairly distant threat to me."

I nodded,

"Lucky you."

He smiled half-heartedly, quickly changing the subject,

"Hey, do you and Rosalie ever camp?"  
>"You mean like with tents and stuff? I guess so. We used to when I was a kid. My folks and I, that is. Why?"<p>

Edward grinned,

"Bella and I are planning a trip up to the lake next weekend, and I was thinking you guys could come. I mean, if you want. I'm going to invite everybody else as well."

"Sure. I don't see why not. Let me know what we need to bring, and I'll ask Rosalie."

His smile was megawatt and genuine,

"Awesome! Awesome. It's gonna be a total blast. Hey, can I ask you something?"

I shrugged, half heartedly giving some impression of my consent. Usually when questions started out with _Hey, can I ask you something? _they were deep, depressing, and hard hitting. Edward nodded,

"Did you ever go horseback riding as a kid?"

I stared at him in shock. That was his big question? There was a pause, before I started to laugh,

"Yeah, I suppose I did...why?"

He shrugged, a blush lighting his face all the way up to his hair. I grinned, popping another bite of pancake into my mouth,

"Why, Edward?"

"."

He blurted, his attention suddenly very focused on the pancakes.

"What did you say?"

I teased him, relishing in the blush that spread across his cheeks,

"Because the idea of you on horseback is hot, I guess. I just wondered."

He looked at me, embarrassment flushing his features, his lower lip caught between his teeth. This was venturing into dangerous territory. I was beginning to feel the warm, liquid feeling in my stomach that Edward had been giving me since we'd met. More dangerous still was the thought of _I could do this every morning, _that flitted through my head as I looked at Edward. I was falling for him. But I couldn't put him into danger...

"Yes sir, I rode horses as a kid. It's practically a prerequisite for a kid growing up in the south. Maybe I can take you riding one day."

Edward nodded, blushing again. Jesus, between the horses and the motorcycle the innuendo was just flying this morning. It was time for me to leave. Time for me to get out of here, while I still had some shred of my sanity left, because his damn green eyes were throwing me for a real loop.

"Thanks for breakfast, Edward. I should...get going."

"Yeah, not a problem. I'm glad we got to talk last night..."

Edward looked as if there was more he wanted to say, but couldn't find the words. I nodded,

"Thanks for listening. See ya, Edward."

I gave him a hug, just as a thank you, kissing him gently on the cheek as I left. Also just as a thank you. Or at least that's what I told myself.

The air was crisp and clean, the sun just beginning to peek over the horizon as I stepped outside, carefully closing the door behind me. Vaguely, I wondered where Bella had been last night. Weren't she and Edward roommates? The walk from Edward's apartment to the dance studio was only about 20 minutes, and passed by the most conveniently located corner store ever. The bells tinkled as I walked inside. The plan? Coffee for Rosalie and I, and a silent prayer to god for her forgiveness. Or at least for my safety.

"Can I get two cups of coffee, please?"

I threw a twenty dollar bill onto the counter,

"And a bouquet of the lilies, please. Keep the change."

Nothing buttered Rosalie up quite like a bouquet of flowers and a cup of black coffee—especially first thing in the morning. The man behind the counter grinned toothily at me,

"You are a man in love, good sir. Thank you."

I stared at him, shocked, but didn't say anything. In love? Hardly. My feelings for Edward couldn't be love, because my love only hurt the people I touched.

I walked wordlessly out of the store, speed-walking towards the dance studio so the coffee wouldn't get cold.

Rosalie's bright red convertible was parked outside when I arrived. Ah, sister dearest...how well I know you. She was here to dance, hard, before her dance classes began to show up. Her dancing would be wild, passionate and risqué this morning, courtesy of our fight last night and the emotional turmoil she would be experiencing.

Some classical-esque music blared from the surround-sound wired waiting room and hallway to the studio, and I knew Rosalie was still angry. I leaned against the door frame of the studio, careful not to trek dirt onto the polished hardwood floors, watching Rosalie as she flew effortlessly through the air, gracefully touching down from a perfect grand jeté. Her time in ballet had taught me almost nothing, but I did know that term, if only for the fact that it was incredibly impressive, especially when Rosalie did it.

I knew better than to interrupt. Rather, I stood silently, and watched my sister dance out her frustration with pointed, whipping turns and graceful leaps, each movement precise and delicate in its fury. It was an incredible thing to watch. She finished with a triple pirouette, snapping both feet downwards as the song came to an end. She brushed by me, grabbing the remote control for the stereo and pausing the music before the next song could start.

"Jasper."

Wordlessly, I handed her a cup of coffee and the flowers. She stared at me intently, but took a sip of the coffee, and placed the flowers on the piano.

"Rose...I'm sorry."

She nodded,

"I know. Me too. I just...Jasper, if you were to be in the same situation you were in in Austin, I'm not sure if I could leave for you. Not this time... not when I have Emmett, and things are finally beginning to settle. I just..."

"I know. I know, Rose, and that's okay. I would never do anything to hurt you, and I know that Edward is better off without me."

Rosalie blanched, looking at me seriously,

"No, Jas...that's not what this is about. I'm just...I'm so scared for you. Maybe it isn't like Austin here—or maybe it is. I'm sure that you and Edward would make a beautiful couple, but...not if it gets one of you killed."

I nodded,

"Exactly. We've run away once, and I love you for giving everything up for me, but I can't put you through it again."

She nodded,

"Will you dance with me?"

"Do you forgive me?"

Rosalie grinned,

"That depends on whether you drop me or not."

When we were fifteen, Rosalie had come home for two weeks. In order to keep up her skill for her partnered dance, she'd taught me how to catch her properly. I had two left feet, but I was certainly strong enough to lift her high in the air and bring her down safely. Other than that, Rose simply danced around me, while I stood still—or, when she was in a good mood, shook my bum and made faces until she burst out laughing.

She took a running leap at me, trusting me absolutely to catch her as she vaulted into the air. My hands fastened securely around her waist, raising her up and allowing her to twist in the air before placing her back down gently.

She smiled, kicking and twisting around me some more, before leaping towards me. I caught her, but this time it was less than graceful, and I brought her back to the floor with a not-so-delicate crash. Laughter, not mine or Rosalie's, startled us both. I whirled to find a tall, elegantly built redhead behind us, leaning against the doorframe exactly the way I had been earlier.

Rosalie's eyes widened in shock,

"James!"  
>She ran full speed towards him, launching herself into his arms as I watched, utterly bewildered.<p>

"How—what are you doing here?"

She asked, pulling back from their hug. He grinned cheekily, a hint of an English accent peeking through his words,

"I'm here to replace your partner, love. He's awful."

She laughed, the sound raining over me,

"He's my brother, Jasper, and yeah, he is. Jasper, this is James. My partner from SAB."

I held out one hand, and James shook it, but he looked less than impressed,

"Ah yes, the one who convinced Rosalie to leave."

"James! That's not quite what ha—"

"Sit, Jasper. Watch her and I. Tell me you do not see perfection. A prima ballerina."

James gestured to the bench where the parents sat when they were waiting to pick up their little ones, shrugging off his jacket and his shoes, taking his place next to Rosalie. I begrudgingly took a seat, wondering if Rose knew her former partner was an asshole.

The music began again, and I watched as they danced together, moving like liquid, anticipating each other's next move and acting appropriately. It was like watching moving poetry, the fluidity and grace with which they moved as beautiful as it was shocking.

James lifted Rosalie with the strength and coordination I so obviously lacked, matching her move for move, spin for spin. My heart ached as I watched them, because it was blatantly apparent that this was exactly what Rosalie was meant to be doing.

They finished together with a flourish, Rosalie dropping over one of James's arms, almost to the floor, and holding there as the music crescendoed and ended suddenly. They were both short of breath.

"Not too bad, Rosalie. Felt a little heavy on those lifts, but you've kept yourself in pretty good shape for not being at SAB anymore."

"Not too bad yourself, James. Now tell me, why are you really here?"

James grinned down at her, his eyes bright with excitement,

"I'm here to bring you back to SAB."

I rose out of my seat, my hackles instantly up—if they weren't already when he'd told her she felt heavy on the lifts,

"Excuse me?"  
>I blurted, at the same time as Rosalie murmured,<p>

"What?"

Her eyes were wide and bewildered, and it was obvious she was trying to tamp down the excitement inside them. James nodded,

"Madame Sinclair finally found out about Jessica."  
>Rosalie's eyes widened and she inhaled sharply,<p>

"Jessica and Mr. Ross. Of course. And so..."

James nodded,

"You bet, love. Her scholarship has come available, and there's a space open in our year. So, I've come to get my partner back. Money is no issue, you're more than welcome to stay with me if you're not interested in staying in the dorms."

Rosalie smiled, and I could see the inner war she was waging with herself.

"James...it's been so long. I would have so far to go before I could even audition. And even if I did get in...I have a life here. A boyfriend. Jasper."

James shook his head,

"I'll help you train. They know you...Rosalie, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Everyone knows that you were destined for stardom. From the first time I ever saw you dance, the first time we performed together, Rosalie...we were incredible. We were meant to be stars. You were meant to be a star."

Rosalie's eyes glossed over, and I could see her fighting to keep her emotions in check as she considered his offer. All I could think about were the months of recovery, the dangerous weight loss, how if Rosalie left, I would be alone, and Emmett...

"Okay."

One word, and yet it hit so deeply into my chest I felt like I might collapse. Rosalie nodded, a single tear falling down her cheek as she looked at James,

"Okay. You help me train, and I'll go to the audition. If I get Jessica's spot, then it was meant to be, and I'll stay. If not, I come back here to Forks, and live my life. Teaching."

James looked disappointed, but he nodded,

"Okay. Let's start training, then, yes?"

He grabbed a pair of slippers from the side of the room and put them on, lining up next to Rose in the center of the room.

"Don't you need breakfast before you dance?"  
>I demanded, perhaps a little rudely, startling them both out of their ballet bubble. Rosalie shook her head,<p>

"No thanks, Jas. I had that coffee."

"And SAB is a competitive dance program, Jasper. That means weigh-ins, watching what she eats, and skipping the occasional breakfast. This isn't small-town anymore."

James murmured, wrapping his hands around her waist. I bristled, longing to tell James exactly what I thought of him and his half-cocked idea. Rosalie saw it in my face and muttered,

"I'm fine, Jas. Really. I'll see you tonight."

I walked out of the studio without another word. I slammed the door of the dance academy, my thoughts whirling with memories of exactly how hard it had been for Rosalie to recover. I remembered the nights spent lying next to her, simply holding her, so that we could both be sure her dinner remained in her stomach. Don't get me wrong, I loved Rose, and would have done it a million times over, but to stand by and watch while she willingly thrust herself back into the clutches of her eating disorder?

I hated James.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Let me know what you thought!

Reviews=Love!


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV

The smell of soft pretzels, of city grime, of transition and possibilities, hung heavy in the air. The arrival board flipped, surely the last of the carded boards, the rest having been replaced by lights. The train to New York left in two minutes, and Rosalie would be on it. Fire-engine red paint, with the name of the train company scrawled across the side, and a battered advertisement for Cats playing on Broadway. In the doorway of the train, edged by tinted windows, James was lurking, his eyes warily on Jasper. Jasper wasn't paying him any attention, though, his attention focussed solely on Rosalie, and trying to force a cup of coffee into her hand that she wouldn't accept. Eventually, Jasper gave up, letting it fall between them, splashing across the tracks below their feet. Rosalie flinched, and her tight smile wavered, but her composure was incredible. I wished I had her ability to hide my emotions.

I watched with my heart in my throat as Jasper pulled Rosalie close one last time, letting her go reluctantly to board the train for New York. The platform was busy, people swarming around them, rushing to catch trains and calling to newly arrived loved ones, but Jasper was always apparent to me. I would never have trouble spotting him in a crowd. The trains smelt of rust, rubber and machine oil, the smell making my stomach lurch less than gracefully. Rosalie had one delicate hand pressed against Jasper's cheek. A reassurance. She'd changed in the three weeks that had passed, her limbs more graceful, her body nearly weightless, her posture perfect. I doubted she even recognized the changes, but it was clear from his protective stance—his mouth pressed against Rosalie's ear, a whispered warning—that Jasper did. Not that he'd said anything to me. I was here at Emmett's request, standing in his usual hulking manner beside me, his eyes hidden behind dark glasses. Jasper had all but gone out of his way to avoid me for the past three weeks.

The whistle of the train blew, and Rosalie smiled her brilliant, show stopping smile, and stepped out of Jasper's arms. Emmett showed remarkable restraint, standing by my side and meeting her wave with a barely there, half smile that I was positive hadn't reached his eyes, as James smirked, extending one hand to Rosalie to help her onto the train. I placed one hand on Emmett's shoulder as Jasper began to make his way towards us,

"I'm going to go, okay big guy?"

Jasper had made it abundantly clear that he didn't want to be around me, and although I knew Emmett needed a friend, I also knew there was no point in pushing the issue further. Besides, Jasper and Emmett were friends, right? Rosalie's leaving had hit Emmett almost as hard as Jasper, and I knew he was devastated that she had chosen to go at all. He'd put on a brave face though, and I knew that if she got in, he would congratulate her like he was supposed to, say all the right things, and leave her to live her dream. The past three weeks had taken their toll on Emmett, never mind Jasper. Rosalie's almost overwhelming practice schedule and sudden disinterest in food had left Jasper with dark rings under his eyes and a haunted look in his beautiful baby blues. At first, I had tried—brief touches, soft words, a cup of coffee in the morning—but Jasper's flinching, his brisk responses, the coffee left to sit cold in the guard room, had worn me down. Now I simply aided Jasper in his avoidance of me. It was cold on the surface, but there was something more, something that made him stare at me when he thought I wasn't watching, sorrow in his eyes. And God, I _missed _him. His smile, his twangy drawl. His guitar.

Emmett shook his head, turning to look at me briefly, the light catching on the single tear that had made its way down his cheek,

"Please stay, man. You're the only sane one of the three of us. The only one without a vested interest."

Emmett couldn't have known how very wrong he was. Jasper's apparent pain as he joined our group, dutifully avoiding my gaze, made my heart ache, leaving me just as vulnerable as they were.

"How you holding up, Jazz?"

Jasper shrugged, clearly not trusting his voice to speak, folding his arms over his chest. I silently thanked heaven that it was Saturday, and none of us had to work. Emmett shrugged,

"I've got beer at my place."  
>It was an offer of desperation, one made because Emmett clearly couldn't comprehend any other way to cope other than friends and liquor. Jasper shrugged, unable to be alone, and I simply followed. I had never seen Emmett so damaged.<p>

…

"She'll get in."

Emmett shoved several pretzels into his mouth, the only thing we'd had to eat in hours. At first, it had been an emotionally induced lack of appetite. Several drinks later, it was a dizzying lack of ability. The sensible thing would have been to order pizza, or even Chinese, but I didn't trust my legs to find the phone. Emmett's TV room was massive, a counter with bar stools (and a well stocked liquor cabinet) lining one wall with the largest flatscreen I'd ever seen on the opposite. Overstuffed leather couches filled in the space between, and shelves containing a collection of DVDs and videogames that rivalled any video store filled in any extra space. Old movie posters decorated the room, and Emmett had surprisingly good taste in film. It had gotten dark outside, but no one had had the presence of mind to turn on a light, so we sat in semi-darkness. Several beer bottles and a three-quarters empty bottle of gold tequila scattered the glass-top coffee table. Why we'd thought it would be a good idea to switch from beer to harder liquor was beyond me. Emmett was starting to slur his words, taking another handful of pretzels from the half empty bag. Jasper nodded,

"You ever seen her dance?"

His shockingly blue gaze was suddenly on me, the first words he'd spoken to me in almost a month. I shook my head numbly, trying to ignore the tidal wave of heat and confusion that slammed into me. The alcohol had softened the edges of my nerves, and it was harder to hide the hurt, the lust, the feelings for Jasper that went far deeper than they should have and swirled in my chest, dangerously close to my heart. He had virtually disappeared without a word after sleeping at my house—sleeping in my bed—and telling me his and Peter's story. Some vague voice in the back of my mind argued that Jasper hadn't disappeared, that he was trying to _protect _me, in his own, fucked up way. I shrugged, shaking my head,

"No."

Jasper took another swig of his beer, his glassy eyes just as powerful now as they had been the first time I'd seen him. Heat curled in my belly, unbidden, and I looked away trying not to lose myself in Jasper. His intense stare remained on me,

"She's incredible."

If she was anything like her brother, I had no doubt. Emmett nodded,

"I saw her dance once. She's too good for this small-ass town."

He pulled himself up, weaving dangerously,

"Man, I gotta take a piss…"

Lurching away, almost stumbling into the bar stool Jasper had been sitting on before the liquor landed us all on the floor, seemingly bewildered as to where, exactly, the bathroom was in his own house, Emmett left Jasper and I in a suddenly uncomfortable silence. Jasper's gaze never left mine, his eyes filled with sadness, but I couldn't help the anger that rose in me.

"You disappeared."

An accusation, it slid off my heavy tongue before I could stop it, loosened by alcohol. Jasper shook his head,

"Keepin' you safe."

Apparently, I wasn't the only one with alcohol-induced loose lips. Sober, Jasper never would have confessed his need to keep me safe. I shook my head,

"This isn't the deep south, Jasper."

"Couldn't lose you too."

Somewhere in my alcohol-addled brain, this was beginning to make sense, beginning to stir feelings and desires, half-baked imaginings of a relationship in secret. I quashed them down, settling my features into a glare. Jasper half-heartedly bit into a pretzel, turning his gaze on me, clearly begging me to understand. I shook my head,

"But haven't you lost me anyways?"

My words came out surprisingly clear, all things considered. Jasper frowned, his nose crinkling, and if the anger hadn't been swimming through my veins, it would have melted my heart.

"Maybe. But at least you're safe."

Safe but unhappy. I hated that he had this power over me. I hated that I hadn't even looked at another guy since that first day on the beach. I stood up swiftly, against my better judgement, fighting the wave of dizziness and nausea that washed over me.

"Fuuuck you, Jasper. I don't need you to decide what keeps me safe."

If Jasper was surprised by my outburst, he didn't show it. Instead, he watched me impassively, stubbornness glittering in his eyes behind the glaze of drunkenness. Emmett stumbled back into the room, interrupting what might have been the beginnings of a moment between Jasper and I. He clapped one massive, off-balance hand on my shoulder, gripping too tightly,

"Where ya going, Eddie?"

Jasper's lips curled into a tight smirk at the nickname, and I couldn't decide whether I wanted to punch him or kiss his full, smooth pout. Combined with the alcohol, maybe a combination of both. I shook Emmett off, doing my best to stalk away,

"I'm going home. Jashper…fuck you."

Emmett looked questioningly between us but didn't comment. Jasper just smirked, that full, sexy as hell smirk that made my insides twist uncomfortably, even knowing that it was all for show. It was infuriating.

I slammed the door, feeling moderately better as it gave a satisfying shudder. I pulled my jacket on, flipping the hood up. It was just beginning to rain, a light drizzle that promised a storm in a few hours, but it was surprisingly cold, considering it was mid-June. My shoes made sloshing sounds against the pavement, and I vaguely wondered if it was raining harder than it seemed, or if it was a trick of my drunken mind.

…

It took me an hour and a half to walk home from Emmett's, the wind picking up, the rain falling heavily around me when I finally arrived. Bella was lounging on the couch, but she jumped up immediately as I entered the room, soggy from head to toe.

"Edward! It's storming pretty badly, hey? I was just starting to worry abou—"

She cut off abruptly, watching me lurch forward towards the coat closet,

"Have you been drinking?"

I shrugged,

"Jasper…and Emmett…Rosalie left today."

Bella seemed to accept this as explanation for my inebriated state, helping me out of my sodden jacket,

"Jasper, eh? I thought you guys weren't talking?"

I shrugged again, water running uncomfortably down the back of my neck from my hair,

"Emmett asked me to stay."

Bella smiled gently, leading me to the couch and rubbing my back, offering her half-full cup of tea to me,

"You guys have gotten close, hey?"

I nodded absently. Emmett and I had gotten close—a feat, considering Emmett was dating Jasper's sister, and Jasper wanted nothing to do with me. Bella kissed the side of my head,

"How are they holding up?"

I half shrugged, half snickered, and soon Bella was laughing with me—my slurred words enough of an indication of the state Rosalie had left behind. We snuggled together on the couch, her head resting against my shoulder, and Bella hit play on the movie. Something lame and girly, involving vampires that _sparkled _began to play, but my eyes were quickly growing heavy, and from Bella's soft breathing beside me, she wasn't far from sleep herself.

….

Pounding woke me up. Not the pounding in my head (although that was definitely present), but someone pounding on our door. At seven am. On a Sunday. As I struggled for consciousness, my stomach lurching ominously, Bella hauled herself up from beside me and stumbled towards the door. I rubbed my eyes, a vain attempt to stop the room from spinning, swearing to a god that I didn't believe in that if that noise didn't stop soon, I was going to _kill _someone. I clumsily struggled after Bella to the door, muttering a string of curses under my breath. If my head hadn't hurt so damn bad, I might have told them to give us one damn second. I was in a bitter, bitter, hungover and sleep-deprived mood. Bella flung the door open, patting her hair down as an afterthought.

"Jasper?"

Emmett and Jasper stood in the doorway, looking more than a little bedraggled, and clearly still drunk. Jasper, clearly the ringleader, motioned to Bella,

"You have a truck."

She nodded, raising one eyebrow,

"Yes, Jasper, I do. What are you two idio—"

"We're going to New York. Only, you have to drive us, because there'sh no gash in my car and Jashper ish drunk. No drunk driving."

Emmett piped up, taking Bella by the hand and pulling her partially out the door. Jasper nodded like a child, and my head throbbed. I wished every ounce of hangover I was feeling on them both, and then some. Especially Jasper. Not just for all the hurt he had caused me, but for coming up with this ridiculous plan, for waking me early, for giving me a reason to be this hungover…and for looking so damn good while he did it. I ground my teeth, willing away the pain in my head.

"And Edward hash to come toooo."

Jasper slurred, pulling me out the door to stand next to Bella. My stomach lurched at the sudden movement, although my skin tingled where Jasper was touching me. Fuck. It wasn't fair, the things this boy did to me without even trying. I yanked my arm away ferociously, trying not to move any more than was absolutely necessary,

"No. I'm not—we're not goi—"

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. We have the week off while the new guards train…"

Bella shrugged one shoulder, cutting me off and effectively ruining my day, her smile small and slightly mischievous as she tossed a bottle of painkillers from her purse at me. Seriously? A road trip? To New York? With Jasper? I gripped Bella's shoulder, fighting the sick feeling crawling up from my stomach,

"Bella, could I talk to you?"

She grinned at me,

"Nope. Get your coat, we're going."

…

**So…I sort of lost my drive for this story. I just ran out of ideas, and also time. This is probably not the best thing I've ever written, but I have a vague idea as to where the story will progress from here. If you have thoughts, ideas, or just feedback, let me hear it! **

**Much love.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Review, review, review! **** New York here we come!**

**EPOV**

…

The Advil had finally kicked in, for me at least.

Bella drove in silence, her hand resting on her half-empty coffee cup. Emmett was snoring loudly, curled up around his seat belt like a giant, sleeping baby. Jasper was looking greener by the second, staring forlornly out the window, looking as if he wished he'd never suggested this. I smirked, watching him in the rear-view mirror. If I had been a better person, I might have offered up the bottle of painkillers that still resided in my pocket. As it stood, memories of being jolted awake, my pounding head, and the vague notion that I would never drink again, made me snicker to myself a little as I flipped on the radio.

Emmett jolted suddenly awake, but it took him less than thirty seconds to realize where he was, and when he did, he grinned like a kid in a candy store,

"Aww, fuck yeah! We're going to get my girl back. Turn that up, Eddie!"

Jasper flinched, but quickly plastered a smooth expression over his face, catching my glance in the rear-view mirror briefly before he turned away. I guess we were back to not speaking. I bit back sharp words, catching Bella's gaze as she surveyed the bitter air between us.

"Are boys hungry?"

She cast a glance to the backseat. Emmett nodded enthusiastically, pulling out his Visa and booming ,

"My treat!"

Jasper seemed to wilt even more at the prospect of food, but managed a soft,

"Could I have some water? And some coffee?"

Bella grinned, but it was Emmett who answered,

"Sure can, Jazzy-boy! You look like death warmed over."

Jasper struggled half-heartedly against his crushing grip as Emmett smothered him with his arms, but was obviously too incapacitated by his hangover to escape. Bella giggled, and her laughter seemed to be contagious, because soon we were all laughing as she pulled into the parking lot of McDonalds.

A yogurt parfait for Bella, and strong black coffee with a side of fries for the hungover, and we were back on the road. Even Jasper seemed to perk up. I drove, taking over from Bella, who had been behind the wheel for almost five hours now. Emmett sat in the backseat pouting after Bella and Jasper had refused his offer to play the license plate game. And I Spy. And Twenty Questions. And Never Have I Ever. Jasper rolled his eyes as Emmett stuck his lower lip out, shaking his head,

"Never have I ever requires far more liquor than I will willingly consume after last night, Em."

Bella snickered, but I nodded, in complete agreement with Jasper. Emmett sighed. I couldn't believe how un-hungover he was. It made me want to hit him, just so he would have something to hurt over too.

It was just starting to get dark when Emmett volunteered to take over driving from me. We pulled over at a gas station, filling the tank and purchasing all kinds of greasy snacks, before getting back into the car. The radio played softly, something gentle and vaguely jazzy, but I could tell that everyone was getting tired. Excepting Emmett, of course, who was stuffing sour keys into his mouth with one hand, and cradling a Red Bull in his other.

As the streetlights blurred by, I tried to fight the feeling of melancholic tiredness that washed over me in waves. Bella snuggled into the back seat, leaning against me and slowly dropping into sleep, while Jasper silently took the front seat, leaning his forehead against the cool glass. Whether he was asleep or not, I couldn't tell, but I could feel my own eyes beginning to droop, and I knew it wouldn't be long until sleep took me as well.

My dreams were restless and fitful, filled with swirling images of Jasper, of our fleeting kiss. Of violence and the faceless boy he hadn't been able to protect. Of us together, of us being forced apart.

I awoke with a start. Jasper was driving, although I didn't remember pulling over to switch, and his gaze rested on me in the rearview mirror for a long moment. Emmett was snoring softly against the seatbelt in the front seat and Bella was still curled beside me. Jasper turned his attention back to the road, and I immediately missed the heat of his gaze.

The sign welcoming us to New York slid by the window in a blur of sunrise and lost sleep.

…..

"So what happens now?"

Emmett looked at Jasper, bewildered. Jasper sighed, leaning his cheek on his hand,

"These are only the preliminaries, Em."

We were sitting in the back row of the theatre at the American School of Ballet, Emmett bouncing his feet and staring at a brochure for the school in his hands. Bella and I sat on one side of him, and Jasper sat on the other, his feet up on the seat in front of him, as if he truly couldn't give a damn about the whole institution of ballet. We had just seen a group of fifty five dancers perform, and another group was currently taking the stage. Jasper nodded lazily down at the stage,

"They perform in the large groups, and cut by half. Then each group has half an hour to learn a whole new routine, and they'll perform again. The first half-group will perform when all the large groups are done. Then they cut again, and they'll do individual auditions tomorrow."

Emmett looked at Jasper incredulously,

"Dude. How do you KNOW all this?"

Jasper shrugged,

"Rose has been dancing all her life. We used to watch the auditions together in the last week of August, before she started school."

Bella looked at her watch, glancing at me. We were all exhausted, having driven for two solid days to arrive here.

"Should we take a break, then? Go get some lunch, come back in a while?"

Emmett nodded, and even Jasper looked mildly excited at the prospect of food. We stood, Emmett shoving his sunglasses on, and filed out of the theatre between groups. The sights and sounds of New York assaulted us immediately, soft pretzels and hot dogs, garbage and machine oil hanging heavy in the air, the traffic sudden and loud around us. Bella grinned, stepping out onto the street. I thanked heaven that we were with Emmett, who seemed to have no qualms about paying for absolutely everything and then some. Even so, we were staying in a somewhat seedy motel, Bella and I in one room, Jasper and Emmett in another. Rosalie didn't know we were here.

"I feel like a burger."

Emmett grinned, rubbing his hands together. Jasper rolled his eyes, as I asked,

"Isn't that all you ever feel like?"

Bella giggled,

"He likes it so he can complain about how it's not as good as his."

We were all laughing, Emmett included, when we came around the corner and onto two men, sharing a deep kiss in the middle of the sidewalk. Deep enough that I blushed, catching a hint of tongue between them. One was tall, dark hair cropped short, dressed well in a striking blue suit, the other smaller and slightly built, wearing jeans and a tee-shirt, a bouquet of roses in his arms. Bella smiled, Emmett groaned, and Jasper looked away, seemingly horrified and uncomfortable, all at once. Aside from our little group, no one paid them any attention at all, which seemed to puzzle Jasper.

I tried to squash down the hope that was building as we walked down the street, passing other couples, two women with a baby, two men hand in hand with a tiny poodle, the very stereotype of gay. We must have unwittingly stumbled into the "gaybourhood" of New York, I realized. Jasper couldn't seem to make sense of it all, his eyes a storm of emotions, although his face remained impassive. I wondered if it was the lack of response, or the memories that were washing over him.

Jasper seemed glad when we finally ducked into a tiny, corner bistro for lunch. Despite the fact that he must have been starving—the rest of us devouring our food in less than five minutes—Jasper barely touched his sandwich, his gaze somewhere in the distance, his mind seemingly somewhere else. When we got up to leave, I spotted two men, a redhead and a blonde, hands entwined over the table top, exchanging smiles as they ate. Were they the reason he hadn't eaten? Had they reminded Jasper of us? When I caught his eye, saw the guilt flashing across his face, I had my answer.

"I think I'm going to head back to the motel and take a nap."

Bella yawned, pulling on her jacket. Her voice was sudden, interrupting the tense, silent, half-conversation between Jasper and I. It was just beginning to rain, splattering against the sidewalk between us. Emmett nodded,

"I want to go back to the theatre. Jazz man, you in? I need my ballet infoguide, you know."

He winked at Jasper, who seemed just as startled as I felt. Could he see now? That we were in no danger here? That this wasn't the deep south? He said nothing, not even looking at me, and allowed Emmett to lead him in the direction of the theatre. I tried not to let hurt well under the hope that had been growing. Maybe Jasper was simply too damaged…

"You alright, Ed?"

Bella's dark eyes were on me with concern. I nodded absently, wrapping one arm around her shoulders as we walked,

"Yeah, Bells. I'm good. Just…"

"I think it had an effect, Edward. Just…give him a little time. It's a lot to take in."

I nodded,

"We should go out tonight, hey?"

Bella grinned,

"You read my mind, champ. Let's go take a nap, and then hit the shops…we should have planned this a little better."

I shrugged. For having arrived with only the clothes on our backs and Emmett's credit card, I

didn't think we were doing too badly.

Bella was certainly right, however, when she suggested that we would need dress clothes to go out

tonight. We got back to the motel and collapsed into the bed, Bella's arm slung across my chest, her

gentle snores filling the air almost immediately.

I couldn't sleep.

Jasper's bewildered expression, his confusion and his guilt, kept spinning through my head. They

did nothing to soothe the sting of attraction that had been growing under my skin since we left the West coast, the memory of Jasper gripping my arm, confessing that he wanted to keep me safe…it made my heart ache, and definitely made me want him more than I already had. If that was even possible.

I lay awake, staring up at the cracked ceiling, lost in my thoughts, until Bella stirred against me,

blinking her way back into consciousness. I smiled down at her, kissing her forehead, and she

snuggled up against my chest,

"Couldn't sleep, hey?"

I shook my head. She nodded,

"Let's go get some clothes, yeah?"

I nodded, sitting up and running my hand through my hair, only succeeding in tangling it further. Bella smiled at me, tying her hair into a ponytail, and grabbing the magnetic key card off the table.

"Let's go. I'll even let you pick what Jasper gets to wear."

She winked at me, and I had to laugh.

…..

"Just put it on, Emmett. We're all going out tonight."

I nodded,

"Bella picked it especially for you."

Emmett had balked at the powder blue colour of the dress shirt Bella had picked for him, but I agreed with her: he was big enough to pull it off. When he finally put it on, after much protest, it looked incredible. He grinned at himself in the mirror, catching Bella's eye in the mirror,

"Damn, girl. You do know a thing or two. How'd you guess my size?"

"I just told them you were football player size."

Bella grinned at him, letting her hair fall loose from its ponytail around her shoulders and over the dress she had bought, a dark, edgy purple, skin tight and one shouldered.

"Jasper?"

Her voice was slightly concerned as she knocked on the bathroom door. We were all getting ready in our room, Emmett in his light blue shirt and dress pants, Bella in her dress with stilettos she claimed she could walk in (although I had my doubts), and me in a deep, forest green dress shirt that Bella claimed "brought out my eyes". Jasper was still in the bathroom. We'd guessed him to be about my size, but now I was wondering if we had guessed wrong.

"This shirt is too small, Bella."

Jasper's accent was pronounced as he opened the door. The shirt we'd bought for him—plain black—was tight against him, showcasing every flex of muscle, every hardened plane of ab muscle, and I bit my lip so hard I swore I tasted blood in my effort not to groan, because holy fuck…..

"You look hot, Jasper. It's not too small."

Bella looked him up and down, her tone decisive. Emmett whistled lowly under his breath. I said nothing, knowing it would come out husky and full of want. Jasper's eyes met mine for the briefest of moments, and he blushed, looking away. Yeah, he knew how hot he looked.

…..

The club was huge. Lights, sounds, pounding music swirled around us as we entered. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but when they did, I realized that there were men everywhere, their hands travelling each others' skin, their lips meeting in drunken dance floor kisses. I looked to Bella, who winked at me, and led us to a booth. Trust Bella to pick a gay club.

"Two Coronas, a gin and tonic, a vodka and cran, and four shots of tequila."

Emmett turned innocent eyes on our table after placing the drinks on the table. Bella grinned, but Jasper looked mildly ill at the prospect of more tequila.

"More tequila, Em? Do you have no taste?"

Emmett laughed heartily,

"We're here to have fun, my friend. Look around, everyone else is."

Jasper surveyed the space around us, seemingly only now becoming aware of the men, touching intimately all around us. He downed his shot of tequila before any of us could blink, chasing it with Corona, and I could tell it was going to be an interesting evening.

"TO MY JAZZ MAN!"

Emmett held up his shot, and Bella and I joined him in taking them, all attention on Jasper as we swallowed. He ignored us, taking another long pull on his beer, as if trying to soften the edges of confusion and fear that were playing on him with liquor. Emmett paused, watching this for less than thirty seconds before announcing,

"ANOTHER ROUND!"

And disappearing back to the bar. Bella and I exchanged looks. Jasper looked down at his beer, his mind apparently far from here. An interesting night indeed.

…..

It was close to three am when we stumbled into the motel room. We were all far too drunk to function. Emmett had somehow managed to get his hands on yet another bottle of tequila (although it felt as though we'd already finished at least one between the four of us), and he set out four cups on the floor in a circle, pouring shots into each one.

"You bitches are playing Never Have I Ever with me now. Because you wouldn't in the car. Ten fingers, and then shots. Shots, shots, shots."

Bella snickered, but we all took our places in the circle.

"Baby Bell, you go first."

Emmett commanded. Bella laughed,

"Baby Bell?"

"Yeah. Like the cheese. They're delicious. Man, I'm hungry…do you think this place has room service?"

Bella rolled her eyes, but raised her cup,

"Never have I ever…ridden a horse."

Jasper folded one finger down, and I bit my lip. This game was going to be the end of me. We hadn't even come to the racy questions yet, and I was already fighting the urge to touch Jasper. Just to see if the electricity was still there between us. I went next.

"Never have I ever…danced on a table in a bar."

Both Bella and Emmett snickered and folded one finger down. Jasper sighed,

"Never have I ever…gone streaking."

Emmett pouted, folding his finger down,

"Not fair. You knew I was the only one who'd done that."

Jasper snickered,

"Yeah. Your turn, big guy."

Emmett rolled over onto his stomach,

"Never have I ever…kissed another guy."

Jasper rolled his eyes, and he and I both folded our fingers down. Bella appeared confused,

"Wait, do I count that?"

"Fuck yeah, Baby Bell!"

It didn't take long before we were all down to shots, and I suspected the game would be ending sooner, rather than later, judging by the amount of tequila in everyone's systems. The questions had gotten increasingly revealing and racy. We circled back to Emmett, who was slurring quite badly,

"Never have I ever…had sex with a guy."

Bella took her shot quickly. Jasper and I locked eyes as I raised my cup, the tequila burning as it went down, and even through my drunken haze, I couldn't help the shock of heat that thrummed through my body. Jasper was…a virgin. And fuck, that shouldn't have been the turn on that it was. His eyes were darkened to navy, and for one, single moment, we were the only people in the room, electricity sharp and dangerous between us. Emmett cleared his throat, breaking the moment,

"Jazz man, really?"

Jasper just nodded, his hooded gaze still on me. Bella's eyes were drooping, and she was curled up around her empty tequila cup. I tore my gaze away from Jasper, trying desperately to obtain any sort of normalcy, grinning down at her,

"Tired, Bells?"

My voice was pure gravel, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper's eyes darken even more. Emmett stood up, swaying precariously,

"We should go to bed. We've gotta go see Roshalie tomorrow. Come on, Jashper."

Jasper nodded, standing with surprising grace. His eyes never left mine as he walked out of the motel room with Emmett. His eyes, those beautiful baby blues, darkened with need, with want, with fear…those eyes kept me awake all night.

…

"We're going to head back to the motel."

Bella was looking exhausted and slightly green in the theatre seat next to me. It was almost midnight, and the individual auditions were still taking place. Jasper and Emmett nodded, absently, clearly completely absorbed in what was going on in front of them. We'd been watching for more than twelve hours, breaking only to get bagels and coffee, suffering through our hangovers. Every time I looked at Jasper, I felt the sharp shock of heat and desire curling in my belly, despite my best attempts to push it down. To dissuade myself, to remind myself that he was never going to be ready to be in a relationship. Fuck.

Bella stood, and I followed her out of the theatre and into the rain. It had been raining all day, and now it was dark, cold and raining. Fortunately, the motel was only a few blocks away, and even our slightly seedy room was preferable to the theatre for more hours.

When we got back, Bella fell into bed and was almost immediately asleep.

I lay awake, my eyes on the ceiling, trying to talk myself out of wanting Jasper.

There were a million reasons why he was bad for me, and absolutely no reasons to pursue him. No reason that indicated he might be good for me. But that didn't stop me from wanting him. It didn't stop my heart from aching when he wasn't around. It didn't stop him from surfacing in my dreams every damn night. And it certainly didn't stop the nearly immediate erection I got from hearing his dark, southern drawl.

A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts, and I got up quickly, trying not to disturb Bella. She was fast asleep, though, like a rock. The glowing red numbers on the digital clock told me it was just after two in the morning. The knocking came again, and I flung the door open.

There, dripping wet, his shirt plastered to his chest, his curls dripping down his face, his eyes dark and full of storm, was the source of all my fantasies.

"Jasper."

His hands were on my shirt, fisting the fabric, pulling me outside into the rain with him, his eyes desperate, searching mine,

"She got in."

….

**Review, Review, Review, Please! **** Let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I just wanted to put a shout out up here to AustinCowgrl: **

**Firstly, these are works of **_**fiction. **_**I'm not out to get Austin, or make it seem like anyone in Texas is homophobic or anything else—that exists everywhere. Don't forget, Jasper is pretty messed up—the things his father said to him are all he knows. Whether those things are necessarily true or not is really up to you to decide.**

**Secondly, while I appreciate that Austin may be an incredibly liberal community, hate crimes do happen there (look it up—a man shot his daughter's girlfriend and her mother in 2011 in what was labelled as a hate crime, a gay man was killed by a man he met in a bar earlier this year, and there are dozens of incidents of gay bashing). So, while I appreciate the sentiment, I would argue that there is enough probability that things like this do happen there for Jasper and Peter to have been beaten up in Austin. **

**Thirdly, thank you SO much for the review. I honestly do appreciate the feedback, and it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings by mentioning your city—again, it's fiction, and unfortunately, it had to happen somewhere. Also, I feel you on the city pride—it's tough when you feel like someone is disrespecting your city, and I'm glad that you have the guts to stand up for yours. I hope you'll stick with the story, and I hope that I'll hear from you again! (And if you'd like to talk more about this issue, I'm more than happy to have a PM conversation as well). **

**A big thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially CentauRita and Mistydeb—it's great to know I have new readers and old ones alike! Let me know what you think of this one. **

**We're back inside Jasper's pretty blonde head for this one. Hold on kids! **

…**.**

My hands fisted in Edward's tee-shirt, pulling him close against my body.

I was on overdrive, my head tilting and swirling curiously, and I was no longer sure what I believed. Or what was right.

I didn't know how to protect this beautiful boy in front of me anymore, or my beautiful sister. I felt helpless, like all the power I'd ever possessed had been snatched away.

Edward looked at me blankly, my words seeming to not register with him. His eyes were exhausted, and he seemed dazed by my touch. My heart clenched as I realized that I had probably brought that on myself. I shifted, feeling every inch of his muscle against mine, fighting to pull away—knowing I should—but not quite able to.

Images of all the men we'd seen together—really together, openly together—here, played through my head, making my world swirl as everything I'd ever known and believed was put to the test. Edward's eyes were dark and strangely glassy as he looked at me, something between fear and desperation written there.

We were both getting soaked in the sheeting, driving rain that was pounding down on us, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care. All I could feel was Edward's body, his warmth pressed against mine, seeping into my body, warming me to my very core.

"Edward…"

Begging him, although for what I didn't know. In a moment that seemed to freeze in its slowness, while at the same time blurring too fast for me to really understand, his back hit the brick wall before I realized I was pushing him, our mouths crashing together of their own accord. His lips were smooth, hard against my own, his hands drifting up my body to tangle in my dripping curls, pulling me impossibly closer to him. I could feel the planes of his chest, the edges of his hipbones, the growing hardness of his erection. I could smell the cologne he always wore, the musk of his sleep, the minty tang of toothpaste that still lingered on his breath. For the first time in my entire life, this kiss felt safe, felt right, felt…normal.

I felt like I was flying.

Edward pulled back with hooded eyes, clearly able to exercise more restraint than I was.

"Jasper…Jasper…"

My name, whispered like a prayer as it fell from his lips, and I wanted nothing except his mouth back on mine. I shuddered, trying to keep the cold out, trying to suppress the shiver of pure _want _that surfaced at the sound of Edward's voice, husky, as he looked at me.

He misinterpreted my shiver as one of being chilled, running his hands up and down my arms in a simple gesture so caring it made my heart ache.

Putting one arm around my shoulder, Edward smiled ruefully at me, the strain of stopping the kiss apparent in his eyes.

"Let's go to the diner, okay? Talk."

There was a twenty-four hour diner just around the corner from the motel, all mustard yellow tables and stained china cups beneath flickering lights. Sitting there over coffee, with Edward's hands clasped firmly in my own, on top of the table, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over my wrist, was simultaneously the most comforting and freeing moment of my entire life.

We were both soaked through to the skin, and I tried to ignore the cling of Edward's very white, very see-through tee-shirt on his chest.

The waitress, a woman who looked to be about eighty, arrived at our table, and I jerked to pull my hands out of Edward's. Automatically.

His eyes darkened with fury, but he held my hands firm, unwilling to let them slip from his grip. The waitress surveyed our clasped hands, her knowing smile as shocking as it was comforting.

"Ah, young love. Where y'all from?"

Edward grinned as she poured us each another coffee. Her accent, so familiar to me, caught me so off-guard that I choked on the newly poured coffee. Edward smirked at me from across the table, grinning up at the woman,

"Well, I'm from Forks, Washington, and Jasper here is from—"

"I'm from Austin, ma'am."

I drawled, allowing my accent to play strongly across my words.

What happened next shocked the hell out of me.

The woman bent down, pressing a kiss to my damp curls, her smile warm. Edward was grinning like a Cheshire cat, and I was shocked, bewildered, and happiness was rising in my belly like butterflies.

"Me too, baby. I love New York, but Austin…it's home. Coffee's on me tonight, boys. You have a good one."

She bustled away, her wistful smile apparent. Edward caught my eye, drinking in my surprise.

"Jasper…"

I grinned, ducking my head,

"It's not like that here, is it."

It was more statement than question. Edward grinned, shaking his head,

"No, Jazz. It's not. You don't have to be afraid ever again."

It was all too much, too overwhelming, too wonderful all at once. It was what everyone had been trying to tell me, but I had to learn for myself. I felt as though a giant weight had been lifted off my chest. I bit my lip, unable to tear my attention from Edward's beautiful face. Unfortunately, his attention was focused solely on my mouth, his eyes dark, and I could feel my jeans tighten. Feeling my gaze, Edward glanced up, flushing at being caught staring,

"Uh, so. Rosalie got in."

I could feel my eyes cloud over. I nodded, gripping Edward's hands tighter in mine,

"They're having a showcase of the new students tomorrow night…I'd like to be there."

Edward nodded,

"Of course. We'll all be there. On one condition, though."

I looked up at him, feeling my stomach clench. He grinned at me,

"You have to go up the Statue of Liberty with me tomorrow."

I grinned at him. How was this boy so perfect?

"You bet your sweet ass I will."

Edward grinned at me like a kid in a candy shop. I could see the sunrise just peeking up, smears of pink and orange between the skyscrapers, and I held out my hand,

"Do you want to go somewhere and get some breakfast?"

Edward looked a little bewildered, but nodded,

"Okay? You don't want breakfast here?"

I shook my head, but didn't offer a reason. In all honesty, all I wanted was Edward, entirely to myself. Bella and Emmett would be awake soon (well, Emmett would be…Bella maybe not so much), but I wasn't quite ready to face them. I wanted some time with Edward to just…be.

He laced our fingers together, and the rush of electricity, of warmth and love, rushed through me.

As we stood, I pressed my lips to his ear,

"I just…want some time with you…alone."

Edward shivered at my words. Fucking _shivered, _his hand inadvertently gripping mine tighter, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back. Maybe I could do this after all.

...

There was a McDonald's close to the base of the Statue of Liberty, and we both ordered a far too greasy, far too delicious breakfast of egg Mcmuffins and hashbrowns. With extra large coffees.

I had been up all night, but looking at Edward as we walked up the stairs of the Statue of Liberty, our hands locked together, I couldn't even feel it. I was running on a high of adrenaline, of fearlessness, of love…

Edward grinned at me,

"What's going on, Jasper? You're strangely quiet."

We'd arrived at the top. It was still early, and we were the only ones there, excepting a tiny, withered couple who were still looking at each other like they were so in love they didn't know what to do. I wanted that.

Looking out over the early morning, I felt as if I could touch the sky. New York was spread out below us, sprawling buildings and smog buried below the great height that we were standing at.

Edward was still looking at me, waiting for my response.

I shrugged, biting my lip and looking up at Edward through my lashes,

"It just…I feel like everything is going to be okay. For the first time…well, maybe ever. Edward…I am so sorry. For everything. I just…I didn't know. All I wanted was for you to be safe."

He'd never know that he was the first boy I'd kissed since Peter.

That he was the only boy I'd ever held hands with in public.

That he was the only boy I'd ever felt this way about without fear.

Edward nodded, his eyes reflecting the pain, and a part of me hated myself for what I'd done. His words were quiet as he examined me critically across the table,

"I forgive you, Jasper. But…I need you to give this a real shot. Because I can't…"

My lips were against his, hard and gentle all at once, and I hoped that my kiss said it all. Edward paused for a single second, before his hands were against my back, running through my hair, brushing over my arms.

The kiss was not entirely innocent, but it also wasn't nearly as intense as the one we'd shared against the side of the building in the early hours of the morning.

It was right.

I knew what he was saying. We had one shot at this. I'd already done all the messing around with his heart that one person was aloud—probably more than that—and he was willing to forgive me. So I would make this work.

Because, whether he knew it or not, I was in love with Edward Cullen.

…

Bella sighed, settling into the seat next to Edward across the table from me. Edward shot a small smile my way, and Emmett immediately caught it,

"What's going on with you two?"

Bella looked up from her menu, bewildered.

It was the nicest restaurant I had been to in a long time. We'd gone out a lot as a 'family' when I was younger, Mama and Daddy liked to show off their only son, and I looked good in a suit. There were candles with real flames, and roses at the centre of each table. The only reason we were here is because it was down the road from SAB, and Rose's showcase started in an hour and a half.

Edward and I exchanged a look, before we both broke out in full scale, goofy grins. Emmett, always about as patient as a child who had just finished a mountain of candy, delivered a swift kick to my shins under the table, and I groaned,

"Em. Seriously? What are we, four?"

"Tell us, then! Tell us, and I won't have to kick you. Again."

I rolled my eyes and Edward snickered. I reached over the table for Edward's hand, our fingers lacing together, and Bella's eyes widened.

"We're…well, that is, we…"

"We're together."

Edward finished for me, winking at me, laughing just a little at my inability to articulate what had come to pass in the past twenty four hours. Emmett grinned, fist pumping,

"YES! I knew it. Go Jazz-man."

Bella smiled, placing a hand on Edward's arm,

"I'm happy for you."

She kissed the side of his head, smoothing his always-sex-hair down with her hand.

We were all dressed up, Emmett, Edward and I in suits, and Bella in a truly lovely navy coloured dress that revealed just a hint of creamy cleavage and allowed her legs to go on forever.

The waiter brought our food—creamy seafood linguine for me, salmon and glazed vegetables for Edward, a burger for Emmett, and duck for Bella, who'd surprised us all by ordering something out of the ordinary, justifying her choice by saying that she was only going to live once, and she'd never had duck. I liked that philosophy.

"So, Em, Jasper…what are you going to do about Rosalie?"

Bella asked the question that had been looming over all of us since we'd found out she'd gotten in. Emmett shrugged,

"Well, I'm going to talk to her after the show tonight…I, Jasper…."

He was suddenly looking at me with wide eyes, and a hint of fear. I looked back, bewildered, until he pulled out the navy box, setting it on the table and opening it.

A diamond and white gold ring winked at me under the light.

Bella and Edward both inhaled sharply in tandem, in a way that would have been comical if the moment hadn't been so serious.

Emmett took a deep breath, trying to steady himself,

"Can I have your permission to ask Rose to marry me? She…she's amazing. She's the love of my life, and I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm so happy for her, living her dream like this, but I want to be here for her. I have the money, and it would be nice to be able to be in New York to take care of her, you know?"

My heart was so full in that moment that I thought it might burst. I nodded, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed indeed. I had thought about what Rosalie being in New York would mean, but I had assumed that it would be me moving here, looking after her, keeping her in good health and good spirits.

Emmett had surprised me again.

"I…Emmett…of course. Of course you can ask her."

I stood, pulling him into a tight hug, and I was surprised to see tears in Bella's eyes as she watched. Even Edward looked as if he was having a hard time keeping it together.

We dug into our food.

Bella decided she did not, in fact, like duck, and swapped plates with Edward, who decided that duck was his new favourite thing, and insisted on feeding me bites from across the table.

I was too blissed out to care.

In that moment, my life was perfect.

….

We had front row seats, just below the stage.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the American School of Ballet's thirtieth annual New Students Showcase. I would like to remind you to please turn all cellular devices off, and enjoy the show. Tonight, you will be seeing the sixteen new dancers that the American School of Ballet has taken in this season. They are all incredible dancers. I would also like to formally welcome back a former student, Ms. Rosalie Hale. Thank you, and please enjoy the show."

He smiled at us, and for some reason, a wave of nervousness washed over me. I wondered vaguely if Rosie was nervous, if I was feeding off her energy. Edward's hand was clenched tightly in my own as the dancers took their places.

Emmett had a massive bouquet of roses in his lap, the ring in his jacket pocket, and a giant grin plastered on his face.

Rosalie was at centre stage, exactly like I remembered from our childhood.

"Yeah Rosie!"

Emmett just couldn't contain himself, and I could see Rosalie's lips quirk into the tiniest of smiles, even as Bella hissed,

"Emmett. This is not that kind of show."

He nodded, and his eyes were bright.

"I know. I just want everyone to know that that's my girl."

My heart ached. I wondered what Rosalie would say.

The music started, and the dancers began to float around the stage, angelic, in a strange star formation that came together and parted.

Rosalie was poised at centre stage. She looked beautiful, her hair pulled tightly back, her show smile plastered in place. She was frail, though. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was too thin, like she always had been when she danced.

I caught her eye, and for the briefest of moments, I could feel her fear.

Connected, like we always had been.

Then her music started, and she began to move, graceful, powerful, arcing across the stage. Every other dancer up there paled in comparison, and my heart clenched.

Maybe it had been selfish of me.

Maybe I had held her back.

The lights were so bright overhead, catching every tiny jewel on her costume, and every sparkle of her makeup. The other dancers moved around Rose, blending into each other, making her the star of the show without even realizing it.

Rosalie was that good.

The music swelled, crescendoing, and Rosalie faced the audience, pulling her body up into a perfect pirouette, spotting as she turned, once, twice…

I was on my feet as her third pirouette faltered, the audience gasping collectively as she struggled to maintain the turn.

I was on the stage by the time her fourth gave out entirely and she collapsed onto the stage, a pile of boneless limbs, members of the audience calling out and gasping in a strange harmony to the music.

Emmett was close behind me, his eyes revealing every fear I was feeling.

"Cut the music!"

Someone called from backstage. I had Rosalie's frail body in my arms, feeling her sweat as it soaked into my shirt. Emmett knelt next to me, the roses he had brought cast carelessly across the stage, forgotten, as he spoke quietly into Rose's ear.

Horror was clawing at my belly as I cursed myself, wondering how in the hell I had allowed this to happen.

Again.

Her eyes were fluttering, her breath shallow, as the curtain dropped behind us, plunging the world into semi-darkness.

…..

**Well, there you have it. Sorry it was kind of short! **

**Let me know what you think, yeah?**

**I love hearing what you have to say, and I hope everyone is having an absolutely wonderful day—my best friend is coming to visit today, and I'm SO EXCITED!**


	11. Chapter 11

**To all of you who review, thank you so much. I do indeed read reviews—each and every one. And I love hearing what you have to say. **

**Slash fic is totally underrated. ;) **

**Let me know what you think of this one. **

**We're back with Edward.**

…

"…Damage to her heart, liver, bone loss and severe hypoglycemia."

Jasper sat down next to me, struggling for words. For thought.

His hand gripped mine, a white knuckle grip that looked as if our bones were melding together. His fear was mirrored in my eyes.

I had never felt so scared.

Bella had left with the truck and some bullshit excuse for the rest of us. We would undoubtedly be fired if she stayed.

The doctor glanced down at Rosalie's chart, her fragile, sleeping form lying prone on the bed next to me. There was an IV in her arm, and her breathing was shallow. Her hair was lank against the pillow, her skin lacklustre at best. Smears of blue still clung to her eyes, stage make up from the show that hadn't been taken off. My hand drew gentle circles on Jasper's back, reminding him to breathe.

"And the unconsciousness? The vomiting?"

Emmett piped up, his eyes shadowed from across the room. The doctor cast a glance in his direction, shaking his head,

"She's in renal failure."

Jasper's hand gripped mine tighter, willing the doctor to give us more information, his eyes looking wildly to mine for more information. I couldn't help him. I didn't even know what that meant. Emmett stood, hulking on his feet even with the devastated slump of his shoulders,

"Is a transplant a viable option? That's her brother."

He gestured to Jasper, but didn't make eye contact. I wasn't sure what was more shocking—Emmett's apparent ability to follow this conversation, or the fact that Jasper's beautiful sister was in failure of some sort.

The doctor sighed, glancing to Jasper and I.

"I think that that's a decision best left until everyone is here. Her situation is…complicated."

Emmett's hand hit the wall with a horrifying crunch, the plaster seeming to melt around his fist, his eyes flashing as he looked back to the doctor,

"The fuck it is. You know just as well as I do that that girl is losing precious time. Every second you spend waiting is a second that she might not have to spare. Run the test."

The doctor cast another look to Jasper, frozen against me, and shook his head,

"I'll run the test. But son, she may not even be a transplant candidate. The damage to her other organs…and the case will have to come before the ethics board regardless. I can't say that I would even recommend a transplant."

"Run the damn test. We'll talk while it's running."

Emmett was downright scary, his hulking form imposing over the doctor, who nodded sadly, turning to walk out of the room. As he brushed past Jasper, Jasper suddenly seemed to unfreeze, turning his wide, glassy eyes on the doctor,

"Hey Doc?"

The doctor nodded, placing a hand on Jasper's shoulder,

"Yes?"

"Everybody who?"

The doctor smiled, turning the corner to leave the room,

"Your folks, son."

Jasper blanched, pulling away and standing up, his eyes wide and wild. Emmett caught him before he could run out of the room, holding him firm, even as Jasper struggled, fighting futilely against Emmett's iron grip. Emmett glared at me from across the room—the first time I'd ever seen an expression of anger cross his features—and nodded to Jasper,

"You mind helping me out here, Ed? Seems like your boy could use you right now."

My arms were around Jasper before Emmett had even finished speaking, drawing him close into my chest, soothing his hair with my hand as he shook. I turned to Emmett,

"You want to tell me what the _fuck _is going on here? Rosalie, and how did you know all that?"

Emmett sighed, the fight instantly fading out of him. He settled back in his chair, a shadow in the corner, his eyes dark with worry as Rosalie shifted in her sleep, her features muted with pain.

"Rosalie's kidneys are failing. That's what renal failure means. I'm in my first year of medical school, Edward, that's how I know all this. I just…don't tell people that. Changes how they see me, you know? Jasper is the most likely candidate for transplant—if he wants—because he's her brother, although it's not a guarantee. When the doctor comes back, he'll take a sample of Jasper's blood to see if he's a viable transplant option. But…even if he is, Rose might not be a candidate. Her other organs have sustained extensive damage, and…she may simply be too weak for surgery."

Jasper broke down in my arms, his fingers gripping into my flesh hard enough to leave bruises,

"Please. Not Rose. I'll give her whatever she needs."

Emmett met my eyes across the room, surprisingly composed,

"You may not be able to, Jazz man."

….

Jasper paced, unable to sit still, alternating between wringing his hands and running his hands through his already tangled hair. He had bitten his lip bloody.

"Fuck, Edward…what am I going to do? Mama and Daddy will blame me for this."

I shook my head, pulling him into my body and pressing my lips close to his ear,

"Baby, there is absolutely no way that this is your fault. You are so beautiful, so perfect…there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Rosalie…"

"Rosalie is my twin, Ed. My other half. My _better _half. What…what would I do…w-without…"

He trails off, unable to continue, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. I press a gentle kiss to his temple, resting his head against my shoulder,

"She's going to be okay, Jasper. Didn't you hear what Emmett said? And they're running the test on your blood right now. We'll know soon."

Jasper nodded. He'd sat, totally unflinchingly, holding his arm out without a second thought as the doctor slid the needle in beneath the skin. I'd held his hand, but I'd had to look away—I'd always hated needles. More than I hated needles, though, I hated Jasper's self-sacrifice.

If he lost Rosalie, I had no doubt that it would destroy him.

Emmett had joined us to pace in the hallway, his eyes exhausted and dead, by the time the doctor came back.

"Let's sit down, shall we?"

Emmett started to raise protest, but Jasper just nodded,

"Sure. Em, just let him do what he thinks is right, okay? Please."

Jasper's voice was raw, and my heart ached.

We settled in three of the hard, plastic chairs in Rosalie's room, looking up at the doctor like three naughty school children. Jasper's hand gripped mine, cutting off any blood flow, and his eyes were wary as he watched the doctor, looking down at us.

Just as the doctor began to speak, there was a flurry of movement in the doorway, and a blonde woman appeared, all slender bones and blue eyes.

There was no doubt she was Rosalie's mother.

Jasper froze, closing his eyes briefly, and immediately let go of my hand.

I placed my hand on his leg below the cover of the bed, letting him know that I was still there for him—whether he wanted me or not.

"Rosalie Evelynn Hale. What in God's name have you done to yourself?"

Jasper's mother went immediately for her daughter, shaking her awake. Jasper flinched as Rosalie blinked her way back in to consciousness, bewilderment surfacing on her features.

"Mama? What are you doin' here?"

The doctor stepped aside as Jasper's father entered the room, surveying the scene, his eyes glassy cold when they fell to Jasper.

"I should have known."

Jasper said nothing, refusing to meet his father's gaze. The doctor surveyed the now tense room,

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Hale, welcome to New York. Rosalie has sustained some very serious trauma—"

Jasper's father cut the doctor off with a sneer,

"Do not presume to tell me what is _wrong _with my little girl. What have you done to help her? My daughter will have the best care available. Money is no object."

The doctor paused, clearly taken aback. Even Jasper's mother seemed alarmed, placing a gentle hand on her husband's shoulder,

"Dear, please. Doctor, you do understand the severity of the situation? Our daughter is a dancer."

The doctor shook his head, casting tentative looks between Mr. and Mrs. Hale,

"Ma'am. Sir…"

It was Jasper who spoke, his voice rough and metallic, startling everyone,

"Rose ain't never goin' to dance again. Don't you get it? It was dancin' that did this to her!"

His accent was thick, strained on each word. Rosalie's eyes welled with tears, streaks of moisture slipping down her jutting cheekbones.

"You think I'm going to let some…some _abomination _tell me what my daughter will or will not do?"

Jasper's father was livid looking at Jasper, glaring him down. Jasper glared back, but fell silent. The doctor cleared his throat nervously, and Jasper's mother nodded at him,

"Tell us what our options are, please."

The doctor sighed,

"Rosalie's only chance is a kidney transplant. She's in renal failure, brought on by her eating disorder. Given the circumstances, and the fact that she may not be strong enough to receive a transplant, her case will have to come before an ethics board before any treatment is undertaken. Jasper is right, though. She will never dance again."

"That is not for you to decide. My daughter _will _dance."  
>Mr. Hale snarled, practically foaming at the mouth. The doctor flinched, pulling back instinctively from his hulking, imposing form. Jasper didn't react at all. It made me wonder what his father had done to him over the years.<p>

"Is there a viable transplant option?"

Mrs. Hale asked, stepping between her husband and the doctor,

"My husband and I will do whatever is needed."

The doctor shook his head,

"Unfortunately, neither of you are viable matches in this case. Normally, it wouldn't matter, but in Rosalie's weakened condition, she needs a fully compatible match."

Mr. Hale exploded at the doctor.

"What the hell does that even mean? How can we not be viable matches? We're her parents, for God's sake!"

"What about the transplant list? Could there be a possibility of finding a match there?"

Mrs. Hale chimed in, wringing her hands. The doctor glanced down at the chart in his hands, clearly wishing he was somewhere else,

"Mr. and Mrs. Hale…there's already viable match."

Mrs. Hale visibly relaxed,

"Thank God. How soon can the organ be here?"

The doctor sighed,

"It's your son."

Silence.

Absolute, deafening silence fell across the room.

Jasper's father looked between his children, his judgement apparent, before he nodded curtly,

"You two deserve each other. You're an embarrassment to this family."

He turned, storming from the room, his eyes flashing. Jasper's mother dissolved, falling into the chair next to Rosalie's bed, sobbing into the thin, hospital blankets surrounding her thinner daughter.

I placed one hand on Jasper's shoulder, watching his jaw clench as he ground his teeth together, his head falling forward to rest in his hands.

"I'll be right back, Jazz."

I stood, following the direction Jasper's father had taken out of the room. The corridor smelled of antiseptic, whitewashed walls pressing dizzily in around me as I struggled to think of what I was going to say to this man—monster—who had nearly killed Jasper.

Jasper's father was standing next to one of the floor to ceiling windows, shaking, clearly fighting tears as he leaned into the cool pane of glass. Caught in the early morning sunlight—I hadn't even realized time had passed—his profile, complete with the wheat coloured curls and strong jaw, spoke so strongly of his son that it nearly broke my heart.

"Mr. Hale."

He turned to me, his eyes dark with frustration, worry, and fear. He was so much like his son, wearing his heart in his eyes like that. He looked me up and down, appraising me, but the fight seemed to have drained out of him,

"What do you want?"

His voice was rough. I sighed,

"Jasper…Mr. Hale, you owe him an apology."

"Who are you to tell me what I owe that little fuck-up? He did this to his sister. What the hell do you know about anything?"

My voice caught in my throat, anger washing over me.

"Don't you get it? Don't you understand? Rosalie did this to herself. She hasn't been at SAB until about three weeks ago. Jasper _saved _her. Saved her life when no one else was going to step in to help her."  
>Jasper's father glared at me, the flush of anger rising in his cheeks.<p>

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Jasper's boyfriend."

He laughed, icy cold, and I fought to keep my anger in check.

"Jasper's boyfriend. Let me guess, you met rescuing my daughter from her lucrative career as a prima, and—now that you've destroyed that dream—you're going to live some fucked up, faggot fairy tale that ends in happily ever after. You don't know fuck all about that little abomination."

My fist connected with his jaw faster than either of us knew what was happening, sending Jasper's father reeling onto the floor. My hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him up so that I was right in his face. The flash of fear in his eyes sent a thrill rushing through me,

"You listen to me. I know that Jasper is a good person. I know that he stepped in to save your daughter when no one else would. I know that now, he will do whatever it takes to save her again. I know that you are a bigoted asshole who never cared enough to look past your own biases long enough to realize that you have the most beautiful, caring son, and I know that I love him. I love Jasper."

Jasper's hands on my shirt, pulling me off his father, were far from gentle. His father scrambled up off the floor, walking away without a word down the hall. I turned slowly, running one hand nervously through my hair. Jasper's eyes were swimming with tears. I pulled him into my body, immediately worried, but he pulled back to look at me.

"You mean that?"

"What?"

"What you said. You love me?"

I snickered,

"Yeah, Jasper…I meant every word. I love you. I've been in love with you…well, since we met. I want to be with you."

Jasper buried his head in my chest,

"No one's ever defended my honour before."

I chuckled,

"Not your honour, baby. Just your reputation. This has gone on long enough."

Jasper nodded, pulling me closer,

"The doctor took the case to the ethics board. We should know in the next few hours if Rose can have the transplant. Now…we just wait."

….

**Thoughts?**

**Review Review Review!**


End file.
